Loving Jesus and Your LGBTQ Child, with Kim Stilp

SUMMARY:
The Challenge of Understanding - Kim and I acknowledge and discuss, that many Christians (me included) struggle to truly love like Jesus without feeling like they're compromising biblical truth with regard to the LGBTQ community, and Kim shares her journey with her LGBTQ child. It’s a genuine complexity to understand how to find balance and Kim sets the marker at the foot of the cross.

Judgment vs. Discernment - Parts of the conversation focuses on the difference between judgment and discernment. Kim stresses the importance of building relationships and understanding individual stories because we can’t expect to be heard if we don’t first invest, aka listen.

The Role of the Church - The conversation touches on the importance of allowing space for questions and struggles without fear of judgment or ostracism. Invite difficult conversations and differing viewpoints for the purpose of discovering and revealing God’s truths and His heart about the matter for both the one struggling with identity issues as well as the believer who may have a heart posture that God wants to bring a deeper revelation that aligns with His truth, love, character and nature.

Embracing Both Faith and Love - As Kim reveals, it's possible to hold onto faith while loving an LGBTQ child. Kim emphasizes that understanding doesn't mean affirming every choice but involves listening, empathizing, and walking alongside them.

Tools and Resources - Kim's journey led to the creation of resources like "Pride and Promises," aimed at helping families navigate these complex dynamics.

Final Reflections - The conversation ends with a powerful reminder of God's scandalous grace — a grace that doesn't discriminate and a love that is unwavering. Kim's story is a testament to the transformative power of love and the importance of reflecting Christ's love in all interactions. We can lay down the weight of judgement, which enables us to share God’s truths without feeling responsible for the outcome and relax in the knowledge that the Holy Spirit is qualified to do His work.

In navigating these challenging waters, may we all strive to embody the empathy, compassion, and love that Kim so beautifully advocates for.

PODCAST INTRO:
My guest is Kim Stlip and she is the founder of Pride and Promises, a beautiful ministry she created that equips believers to hold on to their Christian faith and their LGBTQ+ kids. But I want any parent listening to know, no matter how your child identifies you’ll find great wisdom in the biblical discernment that Kim shares.

Kim doesn’t have any 3 letter adjectives behind her name or lofty degrees that declare her worthy but she is a mom with the courage to stand in the gap between God’s truth in the holy scriptures and God’s heart for humankind. Kim is motivated by the fact that many Christians struggle to truly love like Jesus without feeling like they're compromising biblical truth.

When I think about the phrase of investing blood sweat and tears, surely Kim’s picture is next to that description…actually, any mom who has been willing to be the punching bag (my words not Kims) for truth in the very context of a broken world and their children trying to find their way in it.

I want to share my personal take away from our conversation because I could really relate to every bit of the relationship aspect of our conversation and relationships beyond my children. I do not have children who struggle with same sex attraction but relationship (across the board) is hard, complicated and layered.

I used to think that the hardest part of raising children was when they were young and I was trying to bend their will to the things that would bring them reward, benefit, health. In my heart I was trying to equip my sons to contribute to the world in meaningful, purposeful ways. But no one told me it would be more difficult when they were adults and you have to watch them struggle with the complexities of life as it gets weightier and responsibility after responsibility is added to their years.

Here’s a quote from Kim “And the hard part is when we hold on so tightly to our right and your wrong, and we don't take one another's stories with empathy, then that's where we hold our fist up and we don't end up coming back together. And so you always diffuse anger with empathy and understanding. And truly, anger is almost always love disappointed.” That my friend hit me in the heart.

I had a powerful reminder of the finished work of the cross when Kim brought us back to the cross….and it always comes down to this for any human being (and not just in the context of this topic, it’s all of humanity)….if the opportunity to have direct access to God again was going to be a possibility then it was necessary for Christ to go to the cross. For me, my sins. Imagine yourself as the only person alive and Christ goes to the cross for you.

He endured the horrific process of crucifixion, the bloody, beaten beyond recognition, publicly stripped naked, disfigured in every way; and I’ve read some commentary that pointed out you would not have been able to tell if he was male of female. 

When Christ hung on the cross He had no guarantee that any of us would choose Him. Now, God knows our heart, the condition/character/nature and because of that He knows which one of us will choose Him but that does not negate the fact that our gift of choice is still a real thing.

He doesn’t man-handle our gift of choice. There’s enough evil in the world to see that He does not intervene with our ability to choose. In other words, He doesn’t remove that ability because we refuse to use it in a responsible, wise, healthy way but it is worth remembering He is capable of healing anything this broken world does to us via other peoples choices or the places we find ourselves in because of our own choices.

Kim has such courage to have this delicate conversation pointing out that the core of where the conversation should be grounded is in the person of Christ versus where the church and most people, myself included focus on, and that is sexuality. I get it though, the world has made it a sexual issue but as believers we’re to look through the lens of God’s heart at the world around us.

And that’s what Kim does at Pride and Promises. A wealth of information that is honest, straightforward biblical truth and presented with the same compassion that Christ provided for each and every one of us on the cross. As Kim and I agreed, at the foot of the cross is level ground for sinners.

When you hear Kim’s heart behind her encouraging message, I hope that you have breakthrough in your personal life and personal relationships on every level. All of what she shares can be applied to any relationship we can experience because again, our conversations and heart motive should be grounded in the person of Christ.

Let’s get into the beauty, the hope, and the heart of God by listening to what Kim has to share!

Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Sherrie Pilk

Other Episodes and Blogs that pertain to this subject of God meeting us in broken places:
-Joining Jesus Christ In His Pursuit of Your LGBTQ Identified Child, with Melinda Patrick: https://alifeofthrive.com/2024/08/28/joining-jesus-christ-in-his-pursuit-of-your-lbgtq-identified-child/
-No Longer in Bondage to Sexual Addiction, with Logan Hufford: https://alifeofthrive.com/2024/07/17/sexual-addiction/
-Christian Mom Whose Child has Same-Sex Attraction, with Melinda Patrick: https://alifeofthrive.com/2021/05/16/same-sex-attraction/
-A Porn Free Marriage is Possible, with Rosie MaKinney: https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/05/11/porn-free/

Connect with Kim:
Website: https://www.prideandpromises.com/
Free Resource - 31 Conversation Starters to engage your child after they come out: https://www.prideandpromises.com/conversation-starters
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61569053302851
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/prideandpromises/

Kim's Bio:
My sweet spot has always been in coaching and mentoring young women, moms and wives, offering encouragement and guidance through everyday life and its challenges.

Driven by a profound dedication to my family, a gratitude for people, and a love for the one-anothers, my heart is to encourage other families in navigating the tangled up circumstances that don’t have linear solutions. We haven’t done it perfectly…read the blogs.
 
My favorite people are my husband, Pete, our son & two daughters, and the guys they took the names of and brought into our family. Beyond treasuring my family, I’m a curriculum and freelance writer, ministry volunteer, and fellow encourager.