Finding God in Our Pain

Widows and Financial Preparedness - Gayle O’Brien Blachura, CFP

Widows and Financial Preparedness - Gayle O'Brien Blachura, CFP

With the average age of a widow being 59 years old we can't overlook this important conversation on financial preparedness. Today my guest, Gayle Blachura talks all things financial with the focus on widows. How can we be prepared for the unexpected status of widow?

Gayle is a partner, CFP professional,  and financial advisor with Financial Security.  Securities are offered through Financial Security Management, a member of FINRA and SIPC.  Gayle can be reached at gayle@gofsg.com or 757-431-1414.  Or visit their website at www.gofsg.com.

This brief conversation between Gayle and I is focused on how to be as prepared as possible should the unexpected happen. This is not a deep dive because as you’ll hear, finances are very individualized and every widow’s goals and needs are different. 

The reason I wanted to have this conversation is because based on the statistics, women outlive men. I saw today that the average age of a widow is 59. But that statistic is not a recent one and I think we can all agree that covid has left behind many widows, a lot of young widows. The chances of not being a widow, well, they’re just not in our favor.

And I know you’re probably thinking, she’s being morbid and this is not something I want to think about. However, it’s worth having this difficult conversation, talking about the topic no one wants to talk about. I want to soften this topic so that women will take action, making sure they're as prepared as they possibly can be for something I pray they never experience.

My only request is that you don’t look the other way. I never imagined I’d need to be thinking about it. Even when God prompted us to make a will and estate plan, my husband and I were planning for many many years down the road. We talked in the context of 80+ years and to honest that is the way it should be done. However, unbeknownst to either of us within 6 months those plans would be put into action. My husband was only 52.

Here are a few of the questions I asked Gayle: 
What is a wise thing a woman should do right now with regard to financial preparedness?
What is the number one mistake women make with regard to their financial future? 
What are some factors that come into play when trying to take on the bulk of financial health, solo? 
What about the woman who does not understand financial matters, what is a simple starting point?

Let’s listen in to all that Gayle has to share so that this important topic of widows and financial preparedness becomes easier to talk about and take action.

“Gayle is a partner, CFP professional,  and financial advisor with Financial Security.  Securities are offered through Financial Security Management, a member of FINRA and SIPC.  Gayle can be reached at gayle@gofsg.com or 757-431-1414.  Or visit their website at www.gofsg.com.

Bio:
Gayle O'Brien Blachura, CFP®, Vice President

With over 25 years in financial services, Gayle combines her experience with her training as a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional and her devotion to helping clients achieve their financial goals and dreams.

After several successful years in banking, Gayle sought a more personal, hands-on approach to assisting clients. In 2000, she joined Financial Security Group and earned her designations as Registered Financial Consultant, Professional Financial Planner, and ultimately, her CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ certification. She honed her skills working alongside her father, Robert O’Brien, a former U.S. Navy commander, and one of the founding partners of Financial Security. She was admitted as an equity partner in the firm in 2014, the first women to be so selected.

Gayle is a past president of the Financial Planning Association’s Hampton Roads Chapter, as well as lifetime member of the Million Dollar Round Table. One of her passions is serving on the board of directors of Atlantic Shores Christian schools. She also lends her time to conducting financial seminars and teaching financial classes to high school students.

Gayle and her husband, Mark, live in Virginia Beach and have two children.

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/51af909719c3458387d57debbc88cf48/edit_v2

Infertility, PCOS, IVF and The Exciting Option INVOcell - Jessica Dubuque

Infertility, PCOS, IVF and the cost effective option INVOcell - Jessica Dubuque

My guest, Jessica Dubuque and I talk about infertility and PCOS/Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.  When talking with Jessica I learned that September is PCOS awareness month so if you'd like more information check out PCOSawarenessmonth.org. 

Along with receiving encouragement as she shares about her journey through infertility she also talks about an exciting infertility option, called INVOcell. It is more cost affective as compared to the traditional IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) route.

You get to hear Jessica's success story both with her chosen infertility journey as well as a surprise conception but you’ll also get to listen in as Jessica shares that there is a backstory to the success story and it was full of pain and questions and struggle to understand what she had done wrong.

When I think about the various stories that I have had the honor to hear through this podcast I realize there is a level of brokenness in us. And what I mean by that is that there is loss, shame, embarrassment, humiliation, fear. In short, we know suffering. There are no exceptions. Everyone has experienced these things. What might be no big deal for you could be devastating for someone else. To live is to know pain and suffering.

But what I find most fulfilling is to know that God gives beauty in exchange for our broken things. He wants to engage us in the midst of our pain. To lead us into healing and provide restoration that extracts the pain from the event or events so that it no longer controls us. Where we feel at peace with our painful places. That's what healing feels like.

As Jessica tells us who God was for her in the midst of her heartache and questions she reveals this beautiful exchange between her and God. She goes from a leader of her own making, to a follower of God.

She began to pursue His heart for answers to this painful place of infertility.  And what does God do? He heals.

He’s such a good Father. He did this for me too and I know He’ll do it for you. That’s His nature, to heal His sons and daughters. Yes, He’s the God of judgement and there is a day when that will come but today, in the intimacy of relationship with Him, He wants to restore, heal, and make new.

When we engage the heart of God He’s so much bigger than the immediate painful place that we bring to Him. There is so much more wrapped up in our painful places of life. We show up with fears, assumptions, scars and nightmares.

If we allow Him to love on us and to speak into our suffering, His love dismantles and overwhelms the pain of this life. When we walk in that type of recovery and freedom, we get a taste, just a little taste of what it means for Him to bring heaven down to earth.

Listen as Jessica shares this beautiful transition as God meets her in the midst of her journey of uncertainty through infertility. May it bless you to hear of the intimacy that God cares for each of us. 

Lived Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com 

Resources:
https://www.invocell.com/
https://PCOSawarenessmonth.org

Connect with Jessica:
thepowerofinfertility@gmail.com

BIO:
At the age of 35, she found herself in a battle of infertility. Fear, anxiety, and shame consumed her as she looked for answers. The life she had envisioned was now full of uncertainty.
 
In the midst of her pain, she turned to the one who had never left her side, God. She began to embrace her journey as she clung to God’s word. God revealed to her the power of infertility. Her struggles exposed by infertility made her brave enough to confront them. She had more strength than she ever thought to fight battles that she never imagined she would. 
 
Now, she has a passion to connect with others who also share in the pain of infertility.

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/11abda32e11f434085a04e0d463060bc/edit_v2

 

 

3 Ways to Process Your Pain With God - Sherrie Pilkington

3 Ways to Process Your Pain With God - Sherrie Pilkington

Here are 3 ways to process your pain with God. I share with the goal of bringing a measure, however small it might be, of peace in your mind and comfort for your heart. Not to mention the opportunity for healing in your body. There are real situations in our lives that can affect our health so processing the things that are painful to us is necessary.

We live in a war zone, a spiritual war zone where we have an active enemy who is constantly looking for subtle ways to steal from us. Steal things like our peace, confidence, gifts and talents, our identity or purpose and that's just to name a few.

In this episode I'll share 3 ways that I processed my grief and pain with God. In early 2018 my world came crashing down around me when my husband of 32 years suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. Through my grieving process God spoke into my darkness and gave me revelation as I talked with Him about my pain.

Anytime we are separated from that which we are deeply connected to, have expectations attached to or have a strong identity with such as a title/role/job there is a grieving process that should take place. If not, our bodies will keep the score. The anxiety and pain will be stored in the body until we process it.

There are many ways to process pain but here are the 3 that were most beneficial to me.

1. Talk TO God not AT Him
2. Talk WITH God not ABOUT Him
3. Take the time to listen to Him

In this short episode I'll break down all 3 and share just a little bit more so you can understand what I mean by each one.

Something else worth mentioning but I didn't think to include was how I found rest during the painful processing. For me, I found a place to rest my heart and quiet the chaos in my mind by reclining into the beauty of Christian music. Most Christian music is scripture so although I was not reading the bible at this time I was reminded of scripture and soaked in the love stories.

Sometimes I used Christian meditative music from trusted sources so as to avoid the music that adds subliminal messaging. I wasn't looking to be motivated to work out or eat less nor was I looking for anxiety relief messaging in my music. I just wanted to rest without any additional verbiage (subliminal or not) added to my brain. Find ways to rest that will remove distractions and additional conversations that would cause your brain to retain.

Here are some links to the two previous audios that landed us here talking about ways to process your pain with God:

1. The Good God we Profess in the Reality of Pain and Suffering: https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/07/06/good-god-2/
2. Here's How Psalm 23 Showed Me God's Faithfulness: https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/08/17/heres-how-psalm-23-showed-me-gods-faithfulness/

Lived Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com

Connect With Sherrie:
Podcast: https://alifeofthrive.com/finding-god-in-our-pain-podcast/
Blog: https://alifeofthrive.com/blog/
Website: https://alifeofthrive.com/

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/4b2c54b5430348c8a844bf2420df1ed4/edit_v2

 

Here’s How Psalm 23 Showed Me God’s Faithfulness - Sherrie Pilkington

Here's How Psalm 23 Showed Me God's Faithfulness

Is it possible for God’s word to reveal His faithfulness? Do you struggle to find power in scripture? Ever wonder how scripture helps you in times of great pain and deep questions? What if I told you God's faithfulness never fails and the scriptures prove it?

This podcast episode is connected to the episode I did a few weeks ago entitled The Good God we Profess and the reality of Pain and suffering. In that previous episode I made mention of how scripture came alive to me. How it proved God true. One of the scriptures I referenced as helping me through the darkest valley I’ve known to date, that being, unexpectedly loosing my husband of 32 years, was Psalm 23.

As a follow up, this episode will be about real examples and revelation of how I found different layers of meaning in God’s word and how in this very dark valley, I discovered an intimacy with Christ I didn’t even know I was missing.

I’ll read Psalm 23 in its entirety and then I’ll break it down and tell you how this bible verse spoke to me. I'll share how God fulfilled His word in my life. How black ink on crinkly pages (in the Holy Bible) came alive to me and why scripture became a lifeline for me.

Keep in mind I’m sharing my personal experience with the God of the Holy Bible whom I identify as Father God, Jesus Christ, His Son and the Holy Spirit.

We can always count on God’s word to be consistent with His character and His nature. Anything that is true is of God. It will not contradict who He is but we can’t put Him in a box with regard to how He will show up for someone or how He will reveal Himself or how He will speak to us.

We are unique individuals and because God knows us intimately, He knows how to speak and connect His truths with the spiritual language we speak. And again, not in a way that is outside what the Bible has been preaching, tested and tried for over 2000 years. But deeper revelation of who He is, an intimacy that you have not known before.

Here’s Psalm 23 in theKing James Version (KVJ) but I encourage you to look up this verse in different versions so that you can see the depth of the word.

Our American language is so layered that we can go deeper in understanding if we look at the way the word is being used.

Think about how we use the word love or friendship. Love can be anywhere from intimate/persona/marital to a strong desire for a specific food. Friendship has layers from inner circle to social media connections where there is no other interaction. And it’s the same for God’s word.

As you study God’s word, you peel layers away and receive deeper revelation just like you would find deeper understanding as you grow in any other type of relationship. The more you invest the stronger it grows, the deeper the connection. With each layer revelation comes and God's faithfulness can be traced throughout your situation.

 

Psalm 23 

1The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

 

Listen in for the examples and revelation of how God’s word came alive and active in my life. It lead me into a beautiful intimacy with Father, Son and Holy Spirit and it can take you there too!

Lived Loved and Thrive! @alifofthrive.com

Associated Links: The Good God We Profess and the Reality of Pain and Suffering

Connect With Sherrie:
Podcast
Blog
Website

Danielle Bernock - Trauma and How to Find Healing

Danielle Bernock - Trauma and How to Find Healing 

Are there times when you could really use a hug? Some days even a strangers kind word brings encouragement for a heart that is in trauma mode. My guest Danielle Bernock is known on the internet as the lady who loves you and after my brief time with her I can honestly say I know why. She understands the wounds of trauma, knows how to find healing and more importantly she is willing to love you through the process.

I left our conversation feeling loved-on with a new understanding on several different aspects of trauma. I’m hoping that as you listen in today you feel loved-on, encouraged, and a find new level of freedom to apply to your life. 

Danielle explains what trauma is and what it is not, the difference between self-love for selfishness and the self-love that honors God. We talked about the dangers of unresolved trauma, why we automatically default to negative thinking and the root of why we blame ourselves for the trauma that we’re left with. We discussed Trauma Bonds, and she gave several very practical examples of why it’s important to take care of ourselves and find healing with regard to trauma.

She has a process of healing based on the word self. She uses the word SELF as an acronym to give distinction to the steps and give a shape to the process that she uses to bring healing to those in search of relief and she does it in the most loving way.

When I say loving, I mean humble, kind hearted. You feel a kindred spirit. She knows where you’ve been. She has an idea of what you’re going through and she shows no judgement against anything you may disclose/share.

To me, Danielle represents the heart of God well. To heal the brokenhearted. To bind up their wounds. To restore. Not to its old ways but in newness of life, freedom and peace.

If you can benefit from a new level of freedom, you’re in the right place today!

Lived Loved and Thrive! @A Life of Thrive!

Get Connected to Danielle:
Website
Free Resources

Products Mentioned (no affiliate connection): 


Dr. Jonice Webb
What Happened to You - By Oprah Winfrey and Bruce D. Perry

Scriptures Referenced:


Matthew 25:14-30


1 John 4:19 

John 6:37

Transcript

Alicia Michelle - Brain Science and the Holy Bible for a Brain Priming Breakthrough

Alicia Michelle - Christian NeuroCoach and Braining Priming

This was such an interesting conversation for me! My guest Alicia Michelle is a Christian NeuroCoach and our conversation today is structured around brain science and the Holy Bible. Don’t go anywhere if you're feeling like you don’t want a science lesson because that's not what you'll hear.

This is a helpful conversation with regard to giving insight into why we may know the word but we have trouble applying it to our lives. We know what God’s word says about our identity, our worth, that we’re loved and we’re enough. We say we believe it but there’s a dissonance between what we know and how we live it out. In short, Alicia equips women with brain and biblically based tools to renew negative thought patterns for more freedom, peace and God-centered confidence.

By talking with Alicia I learned that between the ages of 9-13 we establish our understanding of our identity, worth and how we define love. So based on what our environment is like we create a belief system and an internal dialog that will continue to run throughout our lives until we challenge it. It’s not until we’re faced with a situation, a belief or an experience that causes us to take a second look at our coping skills or our relationship skills. 

Alicia gives a personal example of how she ended up in the hospital with a life threatening medical condition because of her definitions of worthiness/being enough and what made her worthy of being loved. 

As a NeuroCoach Alicia helps her clients peel away the layers to get to the root of their belief system and then she coaches and equips by blending science and biblical truth. To hold science up to the Bible is very interesting to me. I’m always fascinated by how the Bible is revreberated through our natural world. 

Alicia explained how science is the vehicle but God’s word is the medicine. And I believe she gave another example of how neuro science is the IV and God’s promises are the medicine. 

We will always revert to the belief system that we’ve created through our experiences and environment but Alicia teaches how to take those thoughts captive to Christ by doing what is called Brain Priming and literally creating new neuropathways in the brain that override the old ways of thinking. 

Something else that was super exciting to me was when Alicia shared some science research that reveals how the brain, (once thought of being the same from birth to death) the brain is constantly renewing itself. To me, that’s why God says, renew your mind in many scriptures of the Bible. Part of Romans 12:1, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Ephesians 4:22, be renewed by the spirit of your minds. And there are several more. 

If you have received mixed messages about your worth or if you struggle with feeling like you’re never enough or question if you’re lovable, I hope you find this topic as interesting as I have because you’re about to discover that the negative internal dialog you have running in your mind, impacting your heart can be challenged and rewritten. Permanently. You can live loved and thrive in every situation because with God you’re always the head, never the tail. 

Pull up close to this conversation because I want you to hear all that Alicia has to share! It’s gonna blow your mind, in a life changing way. 

Connect with Alicia:
Christian Mindset Coach for Women at VibrantChristianLiving.com
Certified NeuroCoach™, Life Coach, Writer, Speaker + Bible Teacher
IG + FB: @aliciamichellecoach
Podcast: The Christian Mindset Coach with Alicia Michelle

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/5250eceb2cb64197ba1b202077da9579/edit_v2

 

Sherrie Pilkington - The Good God we Profess and the Reality of Pain and Suffering

Sherrie Pilkington - The Good God we Profess and the Reality of Pain and Suffering

I profess a good God but I'll be honest, sometimes life can feel anything but good. Why would my good God allow such pain and suffering?

This week’s podcast episode is a solo flight. It’s just me. And you of course! The reason I wanted some one-on-one time with you is because I’ve got some exciting news. I stepped into the role of Speaker! I'm a blogger, a podcaster, now a speaker and I have author in my sites. No matter the role I step into, I love to encourage the hearts of women, letting them know that they’re never alone.

With this announcement (of speaker) I want to share one of the messages that I’ve had the privilege to give at various churches and women’s groups. 

It’s based on my personal experience as I moved through the early stages of my grief after unexpectedly loosing my husband, Larry. Going from stunned silence, to anger to surrender.  But before you tune out, feeling like grief is only for the loss of a loved one, I want you to stay tuned because I share what I've discovered…grief is present anytime we’re separated from the things we hold nearing dear to our hearts. Therefore, a grieving process is familiar to all of us.

If there is any beauty to be found when we find ourself in those bottomless free falls of desperation and uncertainty it is discovering God’s presence. Discovering that His word was true.

We can go from knowing things about God through His word to a new level of intimacy because He was proven true in the darkest struggles of our lives.  Only God can reach deep pain. Because to be honest, if you can’t change my circumstance (, you can’t reach/change my pain. But God could and God did.

Knowing scripture is powerful but it’s not everything. I knew Deuteronomy 31:8 (It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed). I knew Psalm 91:4 (He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection) I knew Psalm 23 ….The The Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need….I can do a later episode breaking down how God showed Himself faithful to me using Psalm 23…

But my point is that scripture is only powerful when we engage the author, God.

I knew a lot of scripture but up to that point in my life my faith had never been tested to the degree that it was when I lost Larry. Those words on crinkly pages would have pointless unless I took them to the Fountain Head of Truth, God and begin to process my pain with Him. We’re not safe processing our pain anywhere else.

No matter how traumatic this life can be, God’s heart and mission is to come to us, let us rest in Him, guide us through the pain and give us the beauty of His presence. That’s the only thing I ask for now, His presence.In every situation. When you have the beauty of His presence you get all of Him. 

Knowing what He’d done for me and how He patiently guided me through my grief and questions is why I have no worry for tomorrow. No matter what unexpected twists and turns this life takes, God is writing a bigger love story with me than anything here. 

We’re not going to avoid the pain of this life. It’s not IF something painful happens but rather WHEN something painful happens. So no matter what this life hands you, no matter how painful it might be, keep this close to your heart. You’re not alone and that the good God we profess speaks the most beautiful things in the dark. 

Let’s jump into the message and thank you for stopping by to listen.  I sure hope your heart is encouraged today! 

But before we do, If you can think of someone who would be encouraged by my message then please share this with them. If you think of a church or women's group who could benefit from knowing that they're not alone, especially in their darkest moments, use the Contact link (https://alifeofthrive.com/contact/) to let me know who I can reach out to. I'd love to encourage every heart around the world!

You can Live Loved and Thrive...no matter your circumstance @alifeofthrive.com

Associated Links: Here's How Psalm 23 Showed Me God's Faithfulness

Connect with Sherrie:
Website: ALifeOfThrive.com
Podcast: Finding God in Our Pain - Listen on whatever platform you use or go to my website to listen: https://alifeofthrive.com/finding-god-in-our-pain-podcast/

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/881d522a67854af19c9b0de019ecbaec/edit_v2

 

 

Amy Debrucque - Find Your Brave and Live Loved!

Amy Debrucque - Find Your Brave and Live Loved!

Find your brave! Guest, Amy Debrucque is the Founder of the Life On Purpose Movement and the host of the Life On Purpose Podcast. She has also co-authored a book with her young adult daughter, Blair entitled, Embolden. And that is what our conversation is based on today. What does embolden mean and how can this book, this tool help us to overcome the things that hold us back in life.

On the cover of the book is the definition of Embolden, to give someone the courage or confidence to do something or behave in a certain way. If you struggle with anxiety, fear, worry, or stress then Embolden is a great resource to engage with.  It is a self-help book that will help you find your brave! Amy and Blair have blended together what I would define as a reflective journal with Biblical encouragement.

It’s a soft back book with beautifully saturated colors and images. It takes you through 4 weeks of daily, simplistic steps that focus on 4 areas. Week 1 is fear. Week 2 is kindness. Week 3 is temptation and week 4 is growth. It’s a very thoughtful presentation with regard to the way it’s laid out. It's uncluttered, which I think is so nice if you're dealing with anxiety because it immediately gives you a calm feeling.

The content is easily digestible for both comprehension and engaging the activation steps. Which by the way, I get no financial benefit if you order this book. It's just that I am in love with the process and the presentation. It’s the best tool I’ve seen on living out 2 Corin 10:5 which says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

So this process of the 4 weeks of focusing on specific areas of our lives will equip us to take what we believe, hold it up to Christ’s word. When we do that we allow God to speak His truths into our beliefs. Because God's truths never fail to overwhelm a lie, we win. What does that mean for us?

We gain victory over the lies we have believed based on the truths of God's word. That’s how we bring our thoughts and beliefs captive to the truth of what God says. We believe God's word and we transform our thought life, our running internal dialog making it obedient (changing our belief patterns) to the truth.

Feel like you need a breakthrough? Want to find your brave?! Check out the process that Embolden lays out. Small incremental steps…which reminds me of Zachariah 4:10 …. “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin." So, small incremental steps and in no time you will have dismantled the fear that was keeping you from living out all that God has created you for! 

As Amy says, “Fear isn't going to go away, but courage can get the final say”

Come on get your breakthrough!

Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com

 

Get Connected with Amy:

Website: https://www.amydebrucque.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amydebrucque/

Interviews/Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0iYlgp6mpbl3qx87qmAPca

 

Transcription: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/0c39950be49549d5af86806eb30d5d26/edit_v2