Finding God in Our Pain

Finding Peace and Comfort After the Death of Her Son, with Alicia Hodges

My precious friend, Alicia Hodges sat down with me to talk about the death of her son, Zane Hodges who was 30 at the time of his passing. We’ve had many of these conversations over the last 3 years. Our time together is full of exploring God in this context of loss and crying.

I want to back up just a little bit. Allow me to layout my day before I learned we had lost Zane. I had recently started a 7am Tuesday morning prayer time with a sweet mom of 10. We had to start early because of the demands on her day.

On the morning of June 16th 2020, we met and this young momma shared an amazing miracle that she and her family experienced that past weekend. True to the nature of a miracle something horrific presents itself and despite everything saying it should have a tragic ending it turns out completely different and their (then) 4 year old son is perfectly fine with no concerns left about his physical condition or motor skills etc. I can testify to the fact that he is indeed complete, whole, typical little boy. I left our short visit in awe of how God shows Himself faithful.

On that same day, twelve hours later I saw my phone ringing with a number I did not recognize so I ignored it. What immediately followed was a text and the caller shared her name saying she was a good friend of Alicia’s. 

Alicia, my sweet friend and devoted mx (motocross) mom whose family we had grown close to through many years of traveling together cheering our sons on, praying for their safety and nursing them when they were injured. We shared in tragedy and triumph, good and bad, highs and lows. 

I snatched up the phone and dialed the number back. I knew in my spirit I didn’t want to hear what she had to say.  But of course when someone you love is in need you’re propelled to run toward them. 

As the woman spoke on behalf of Alicia my heart shattered into a million pieces. It would seem that God did not show Himself faithful for her baby boy. Yes, Zane was 30 but do our children ever stop being our babies? 

These two women, my young mom of 10 and Alicia wear many hats in order to fulfill all the roles they are responsible for and they both value that of wife and mother above all the titles they’re known by. They are passionate about God and they each serve Him with their whole heart. 

Two moms serving the same God whom they profess to be good, kind, loving and protective. One with a beautiful story of restoration and protection and the other laid her son to rest. 

Neither mom did anything wrong. Neither mom was more perfect than the other, more godly and more favored and loved by God. 

How do we make sense of the good God who, at times seems cruel and at the very least does not treat us fair or equal. One minute He’s saving the day and the next it seems He’s disinterested, nowhere to be found. 

I’m not going to pretend I have the answers to understand what is clearly beyond my ability to grasp or process. A deep wisdom beyond my limited understanding holds the answers to the deepest cry of a shattered heart. 

What I can do though is share personal, first hand stories that give real life examples of how God cares for us in the darkest of dark valleys and that’s what Alicia does in this episode.

We discuss the sovereignty of God, His authority over life and death and why He is trustworthy with our pain. We touch on the stigma of drug abuse and whether or not it’s a choice. Especially when it’s introduced to a young person because of an injury. Maybe it’s a choice early on but at some point the chemical change in the brain takes over and that’s the reality of the fight, not a simple choice to use or not use. 

She briefly talks about what she refers to as “growth edges” and how, not wanting to be stuck in her grief, caused her to step out in faith to new territory in her spiritual growth and personal life. 

At one point I ask her a question that I like to ask my guests because I think it’s one of the major ways Satan attempts to separate us from God, His truth, healing, and redemption. 

I asked her, in what ways did Satan try to drive a wedge between her and God. Her answer gave me a different perspective. One I hadn’t thought about. Satan was set on destroying relationship but since He couldn’t shake Alicia’s connection with God he came after her personal relationships.

Near the end of our conversation I asked her about Psalm 23, specifically  how did God prepare a table for you in the presence of your enemy and what she shared gave revelation, making it clear that what God did in that situation can be applied to everyday life.

Where is the good God we profess when things become to much to bear? Listen in and hear Alicia’s testimony on how to find God in our pain. 

Connect with Alicia:
Email: skinsoreal@gmail.com 
IG @aliciahodges7
FB Alicia Williams Hodges 
Biz. Website aliciahodges.neora.com

Bio:
My name is Alicia Williams Hodges and I am originally from Roanoke, VA.  I have been married 37 years and we live right outside Roanoke on Smith Mountain Lake. I have two beautiful children and a 2 year old granddaughter.

I am a Founding Member with Neora, a Holistic Anti-Aging Beauty and Wellness Company and celebrated my 11th year in May of 2023. Previously, I had been a stay at home mom for 20 years and my days were filled with ministry, non-profit work and raising my kids.

Life happened in “08 and Neora found me! I am a solution provider for your aging needs and concerns. I am very passionate about helping people look, feel and live their BEST life NOW, while building a legacy of faith, hope, love and wealth for families and future generations.

Although I have an international business, I love networking, connecting and helping people build their businesses.

 

Want more encouragement on this topic? Listen to this episode with guest Carole Sluski, a mom who lost her daughter: https://alifeofthrive.com/2023/03/15/surviving-grief-and-the-death-of-her-daughter-with-carol/

 

The Uncertainty of Life - Choroidal Melanoma (Eye Cancer), with Suzanne Stines

My guest, Suzanne Stines has an absolute amazing story. A story that begins with complete and utter uncertainty. Suzanne and I talk about her diagnosis of Choroidal Melanoma, a cancer in the eye that is believed to never go away. Only 6 people in a million get this type of eye cancer. 

Even though Suzanne was having trouble with her eyes she felt it had more to do with her new schedule and work environment than anything serious so she didn’t make a doctor’s visit a priority.  What initiated this journey of uncertainty was a simple, but out of character request from her young daughter to see an eye doctor based on the fact that she was having trouble seeing the front of the classroom, the chalkboard.  

In the process of diagnosing Suzanne accurately, they look at 3 markers that will tell a patient what their chances are of the cancer spreading to other parts of the body. Suzanne’s test revealed that of the 3 levels, she has the highest marker indicating she is at the highest risk for her cancer to spread. But that initial diagnosis, is just the beginning of her journey as she pressed into the God who has shown Himself faithful in so many other areas of her life. 

As you listen to her story, maybe you’ll hear what I heard with regard to Suzanne’s faith. Yes, she struggled with God, yes it was frightening, yes she had questions for God as the heart stopping news continued to  unfold. But God was already in motion, putting things in place. In His perfect timing, He moves Suzanne and her family from rural North Carolina to the hustle and bustle of Richmond, VA. This location would put her much closer to the doctors she would need before she even knows she’ll need them. 

Here’s why I ponder how her faith has increased the miracles in her life. 1 Chronicles 5:20, the last part of verse 20 says, “…they cried out to him during the battle. He answered their prayers, because they trusted in Him.”

Suzanne’s story is going to encourage your heart in knowing that God is trustworthy and faithful through the dark valleys, especially because she shares two very important updates that I’m sure have the medical field scratching their heads or at the very least rereading previous data. But now they have some hope to share with their other patients. 

You know, if someone told me I was one of 6 people, in one million who had received something, I’d be thanking God for the lottery win. It's embarrassing, but I do believe that is where my mind would go first. But listen to the end of this episode and hear Suzanne’s parting words. In her heart she did win. She is discovering the most precious, intimate things about God in the fight for her life. 

Let’s jump in to this amazing testimony of finding the God of the Holy Bible in the midst of pain and suffering. 

Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com

 

Connect with Suzanne:
Freebie - 6 verses for peace, trust, and healing: https://suzanne-stines.ck.page/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/homebasewithsuz

 

Bio:
When Suzanne was diagnosed with a rare eye cancer in 2018, her world came crashing down. She felt completely overwhelmed and struggled through every stage of grief. She learned how to chase Jesus with her whole heart and has since pursued a deeper and more intimate walk with Him. She will encourage you, make you laugh and bring you to tears with stories of how God has moved in her life before and after the diagnosis. Suzanne resides in Richmond, VA with her husband and daughter. Ladies are invited to join her Facebook group, Home B.A.S.E. with Suz, where she provides weekly Biblical and spiritual encouragement. You can find more info about Suzanne here where you can sign up for her newsletter and contact her for speaking events.

Identify and Eliminate the Joy Stealers in Your Life, with Author, Doris Swift

Think about the new level of joy you can have if you'll take the time to identify the joy stealers in your life! So if you want more joy in your life then what my guest has to offer is going to be a great resource for you! Author Doris Swift is here to throw us a life line and what I mean, is the she’s here to help us identify the joy stealers in our life.

As many of us know joy is not something we have to cultivate in our own power and it isn’t defined by our circumstances. As believers it is a fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness and self-control). And because it is a fruit of the spirit it is already present and available to us. We need only identify what we’re allowing to get in between us and the joy that is rightfully ours as God’s children’s. 

Doris has written a 6 week bible study on joy and this conversation includes the topics covered in the book: Reveal, Respond, Receive, Renew, Rest and Reach.  I believe her bible study provides a full investigation of joy, how we can find the fruit of joy in our life, how we can maintain it, and how we can increase the joy in our life.

At the beginning of this episode Doris shares about an exercise she challenged her audience to participate in with regard to laying down their joy stealers as well as agreeing not to take them back. 

She said she’d love to know if my podcast listeners take her challenge too and engage in the exercise she talks about. If you do interact with her proposed exercise, I as well would love to hear how you did and especially what action you took afterward to acknowledge your desire to leave your joy stealer(s) with God allowing Him to work them out in your life as you go about your day in His joy.  So leave us a comment associated with this episode. 

Let’s listen in to discover the power found in the simplicity of the type of joy that God has provided for us. 

Lived Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com 

Author Bio:

Doris Swift is an author, speaker, founder of Fierce Calling Ministries, and host of the award-winning Fierce Calling podcast. She is passionate about equipping women to dig deeper into God's word, take action where their passion, compassion, and conviction intersect, and walk boldly in their fierce calling. Her new Bible study, Surrender the Joy Stealers: Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You, a six-week Bible study rooted in John 15, is available at dorisswift.com.
        
She currently resides in Central Florida with her husband Brian, is mom to an amazing son and daughter and their spouses, and Gammy to six awesome grandkids.

 

Connect With Doris:
Website: dorisswift.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DorisSSwift
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dorissusanswift/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DorisSSwift

 

Transcription: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/621e62d78ba64b39ad5170405c44bc78/view?organization_id=868176

 

Life and Hope After an Accidental Death, with Jennifer Eikenhorst

My guest, author Jennifer Eikenhorst knows a depth of sorrow, I pray I never know. She knows the reality of causing someone's accidental death. She's been on a healing journey ever since that fateful day in October of 2014. A journey that has spanned the full gamut of human suffering as she struggled and grappled with trying to make sense of what she used to know and who she used to be tangled with the reality of what she's forced to know in every area of her existence.

She's recently published a book about her journey titled, Left Turn: Life Unimagined. Unimagined indeed. The scope of all that this tragedy seeps into is nothing shy of every facet of her life and the lives of others. Her heart and the hearts of everyone affected have been shattered in countless ways.

Jennifer takes full responsibility for the accidental death of David, a motorcyclist that she did not see after stopping at the stop sign. She has an incredibly humble posture in the position of having taken the life of another human being. Additionally, she has great compassion for those who find themselves in the same exact position as her, having accidentally caused the death of another person.

I'm not quite sure why I find the topic of forgiveness so intriguing but when Jennifer and I were able to get our schedules together for this conversation I knew that she would provide us with an incredible glimpse into the heart of God and His forgiveness. And in her case, not only God's forgiveness but the hope for forgiveness from David's family, her children's forgiveness because they were in the car at the time of the accident, her husband's forgiveness whom she withdrew from him feeling unloveable and unworthy, forgiveness from her community, her church, her job not to mention having to forgive herself and that's just the tip of the iceberg. We ran out of time before we had a chance to talk about the legal process that Texas has in place and the way it added to the devastation.

As we talked, the layers that were affected by David's death, boggled my mind. From the moment of impact the repercussions would be felt in both her life as well as David's life. They didn't know each other prior to that moment in the intersection and despite the fact that David did not survive the tragic accident, Jennifer will never forget him or his family and nor does she want to.

I'm going to keep this intro short. I'm finding it difficult to put into words the beauty and wisdom that Jennifer has to offer because of what God has walked her through. You're going to have to hear it yourself so that you can absorb this life changing information about the heart of God.

As hard as it was for Jennifer to come to grips with what had happened, she knew that this situation had to pass through God's hands and receive approval. So she had to face the fact that God in His sovereignty had allowed it. In an effort to trust Him with His purpose behind allowing it, she asked God to show her how He had prepared her for this moment and she shares the various ways that He confirmed for her that He had prepared her and that He would see her through.

Part of God's redemption for Jennifer was to connect her with Jada Pinkett Smith as a guest on her show, Red Table Talk. The Red Table Talk website describes the show "where we tackle current social and cultural issues with an inter-generational perspective." (redtabletalk.com)

Jennifer's time on the show gave her the opportunity to share the tragedy she was experiencing and how the God of the Holy Bible made all the difference. Jennifer mentions that the Red Table Talk show has approximately 5 million viewers and I do see where they have 11 million followers on Facebook. I can't help but think about how amazing God is in the redemption process.

God has also put Jennifer in the path of people whom she randomly passes and she's able to give an encouraging word for healing as well as provide resources that can help. We talked about so many things and that's why this audio ran over my preferred 1 hour max but you will not be disappointed with the message that Jennifer has to share.

As we closed I asked her the final question, was there any ONE thing she'd want to share with our listeners today. Her response echoed her compassion and empathy that you'll hear throughout the entire conversation. She didn't plead her case, you'll never hear her side step or avoid taking responsibility for the accidental death of David. Instead, she takes the posture of a surrogate of sorts and offers an apology to anyone who needs to hear, "I'm sorry" from someone like her.

This conversation will give your heart courage to trust God especially when life makes no sense and ending it all sounds more appealing.

Let's listen in to find out what beautiful things God spoke to Jennifer in her very dark valley.

Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com 

 

Connect with Jennifer:
You can connect with Jennifer at accidentalhope.com 
Her Podcast: Accidental Hope Podcast 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AccidentalHope
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/accidentalhope/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HopeAccidental

 

Resource: Accidental Impacts under the Hyacinth Fellowship - a support group for those who have unintentionally caused harm to another person: https://hyacinthfellowship.org/

 

Bio:
Jennifer Eikenhorst loves Jesus which she feels is essential in her healing and therefore she shares her beliefs freely. Her faith is the cornerstone of content for her blog and podcast. She’s the wife of a multi-sport coach, Chris (who stole her heart in her senior year of high school), mom to 4 amazing kids, math teacher, blogger, podcast host (Accidental Hope), grad student, hope-seeker, and notorious over-sharer! She’s also an advocate for CADIs (Causing Accidental Death or Injury). Besides Jesus and her family, she loves their golden-doodle Coda, dance fitness, making recipes her own, and Bible journaling.

 

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/227d72c9f31e45efb44c8d4ba5126b08/edit

 

Navigating Her Children’s Mental Illness Journey, with Patty Sepety

Patty Sepety, a mother of two is my guest and she tells her story with the purpose of encouraging your heart to trust God's faithfulness when life is more than you can handle. She shares her journey of walking both of her children through mental illness and their tragic experiences that set that diagnosis into motion.

What lengths a mother will go to to get her children the help they need and Patty was no exception. She was blindsided by what happened to her daughter when she was only 10 years old and the fallout constantly challenged Patty's ability to get out ahead of the resulting trauma and mental illness issues that would unfold over time.

And I don't remember the time frame in relation to her daughter coming to her about what happened and then her son coming forward but in the midst of meeting her daughter's needs her son, 4 years younger than her daughter, requests to also have professional help like his sister. He receives the professional help and yet he follows through with his thoughts of self-harm and Patty finds herself sitting beside her son's hospital bed looking at the countless pieces of machinery not knowing if he'll live through the night.

Patty's journey into uncharted waters hit her from several sides. Along with her children's level of need, her husband would also be diagnosed with a hole in his heart and endure multiple procedures; each one having the potential of take his life. And her aging parents needed her help as well. Just when you think that would be enough, she, herself is diagnosed with PTSD.

As our conversation unfolded it became apparent to me that through every phase of her dark valley she never questioned God's faithfulness. One of the things that was thought provoking to me is that she shares how she'd read Job's story and it would comfort her that her life was not as bad as what Job had endured. Now that's one way to put perspective in your life.

Patty has the sweetest countenance, you can hear it in her voice. If you think she'd make the sweetest friend, you're right. She has a strong bond with the women that she does life with. I've met the group of women she is connected to. The whole group, not just a percentage of the women, love well. If you're ever on the Eastern Shore in the Cape Charles area of the Virginia side, and you need a kind person to talk to, stop in at Cheriton Church and ask for any one of the women who serve on the WinGS (Women in God's Service) team. I guarantee you, you'll leave feeling like you were loved on by Jesus Himself.

Let's listen in to Patty's humble, transparent story of how she navigated mental illness with her children and the uncertainty that life can challenge us with.

Connect with Patty: www.MyConciergeLLCVa.com

Bio:
Patty came from a Christian home where the family attended church wherever they lived. While she and her family were living in Bangkok, Thailand, Patty accepted Jesus and was baptized at age 15. 

She has been married to David for 50 years and they have two children and two grandchildren. In 2018 Patty and David relocated to the Eastern Shore of Virginia where they love the quiet lifestyle. They currently reside in a 200-year-old, former parish house relocated from Hog Island to Nassawadox, VA.Patty and David are active members of Cheriton Baptist Church where she is on the WinGS committee. WinGS stands for Women in God’s Service.

Patty is also the business owner of My Concierge LLC, an office consulting and bookkeeping firm. She loves helping people manage their back office and has no plans to retire. You can learn more about her business on her website:  www.MyConciergeLLCVa.com.

 

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/7d62e6959e1141cfb1c65c4563cef0b7/edit

 

 

Emotion Code, with Eileen Love - Part 2

Welcome to Part 2 and the final episode for my discussion with Emotion Code Practitioner, Eileen Love. In this episode we’ll look at what a typical emotion code session looks like and I share a little bit about what I’ve experienced with my session with regard to feeling like I had no voice.  I also share what I’ve experienced afterward, my results.

Eileen tells us why she has a passion to heal those who live with trauma. She talks about how God captivated her heart by redeeming her pain, using her journey of trauma which in turn, allowed her to receive the vision God laid before her in the very midst of grieving the loss of her husband whom she’d been with since she was 18 years old.

When God shared his desire for her to open her home to women with traumatic experiences for the purpose of bringing them into deeper levels of healing He told her that He would make a way. He would provide the means to renovate and sustain the home for His purposes and that He has done!

I’ve just returned from visiting Eileen’s home that she has converted to the Rest and Renewal Ranch. Leaving Virginia where my setting is a combination of rural country, the beach and ocean; where I’m 12’ above sea level and everything here is lush with various shades of green and copious amounts of water everywhere, I was struck by the Arizona beauty for a completely different reason. 

I was in awe of the size of the Arizona landscape. Truly breathtaking! If you take the time to look around  there are wild flowers growing everywhere. Vibrant colors against the rocky backdrop. It reminded me of the beauty, found in the details that all around us. Beauty that we can capture and appreciate when we slow down.

Eileen’s modest home sits in the rugged terrain and vegetation that are typical to Arizona. When you go inside Eileen’s humble home there is a peace that permeates the space. You’re embraced with comfort and her kindness. You feel like you’ve always known her.

It’s times like that when God speaks to my spirit and says, You tried to put me in a box Sherrie. I’m always in awe with how unassuming God’s presence can be. There have been many times when I'm standing in the presence of God, He’s still and quiet; set in such a way that I can miss His presence. Especially when I’m looking for it in a way that I had defined it should be. A definition based on my knowledge and understanding. 

I love when He surprises me like that and He used Eileen as a beautiful example of His hands and feet. My experience reminded me of Isaiah 52:7, "How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, “Your God reigns!”

I thought the contrast between the harsh landscape and her cozy home was similar to how the world can be unyielding and yet her cozy home felt like a respite, a warm embrace from Jesus in the middle of it all.

It just so happened that I visited Eileen on my birthday so she went out of her way to make me feel loved and special on that day. I agreed to try her fresh goats milk and I’m glad I did. What a delight, it was so creamy. As she mentioned in the previous episode, she’s a massage therapist so I got a massage and we also did an emotion code session which has left me with a deeper peace that no one but Jesus can provide. 

We talked about spiritual gifts and she told me about the history of the ranch that she shared with her husband before his unexpected passing. At the end of the day we went to the top of the mountain to watch the sunset over the opposing mountains in the west. It was the perfect way to say good by to my 50’s and begin the first day of 60s.

If you decide to visit the Rest and Renewal Ranch you’ll need to reach out to Eileen on her email. Her email will be in the show notes but I can give it to you right now cuz it’s pretty easy to remember: Restandrenewal@pm.me

Before we jump into the episode, I wanted to point out something that lingered after our conversation. Allow me to share the discernment that the Lord provided me.

In my conversation with Eileen I was expressing my thoughts on how important it was that you find someone trustworthy when it comes to emotion code therapy. And by trustworthy I mean a solid Christian. Mainly because you’re allowing someone into your mental and emotional space; you’re giving them access to a core element of who you are. 

To me, that is to be taken very seriously because you are entering into a spiritual realm. That is not something that I completely understand so I want to guard that. I know through Jesus I have power over the works of Satan but I never want to intentionally allow Satan to have access to me through the spiritual realm.

I’ve done yoga before because stretching is extremely important for your overall health. When you think about Physical Therapy or Chiropractors (with regard to regaining mobility in your body) it’s all about stretching the body.  To protect myself in the yoga atmosphere, whenever I did poses I would have an internal dialog with God or say breath prayers to God and tell Him I worship Him alone.

When they’d do the palms together I’d clasp my fingers in more of a child like prayer. When they ask you to clear your head or relax into Shavasana, I’d recite scripture or I’d invite God to insulate and protect me. I was only there for the stretching practices not the worship poses nor the practices of another religion so I kept my focus on the God of the Holy Bible. I thanked Him for my body, the ability to use it and desire to keep it healthy. 

I say all that to preface this, Eileen had a valid point of not knowing if our physicians are faith based or if they believe in our God yet we trust them with surgery on our bodies and we trust psychologist/psychiatrist with our emotional and mental well being. She had me thinking.

I’ll be the first one to say that we need to be selective about who we allow to have access to us, be that physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually etc. so I pondered my process with physicians and other medical personnel. 

My first acknowledgement was that I am prone to easily give them access because they’ve gone through strenuous requirements to be in those positions and yet it cannot be ignored that we all know they are considered to be practicing medicine, in short, they’re practicing on us.

Pondering that thought with the Lord reminded me and I haven’t always done this, that I pray not only for the doctor I should go to but once I have a doctor I pray for him/her. If there is a medical procedure that I need I pray for the nurses, those who assist, I pray about the equipment and instruments/tools needed, I even pray that within the attending medical team there is no conflict both in personalities nor personal relationship during my medical procedure.

So any doctor that I use, whether I know if they serve my God or not, I’m confident God has lead me to them and that He will use them to meet the need I have.

So I’ve used that same process with Eileen. I didn’t necessarily go looking for Emotion Code therapy but when God had our paths cross and I began to talk to Him about what I was learning it lined up with my desire to have Godly influence when giving someone access to the intimacy of who I am created to be.

We live in a world that is so incredibly diverse, extremely diverse so it’s quite a challenge to live a strict Christian life when it comes to who we interact with, whom we trust with our safety, our health etc. So ultimately our goal is to pray for discernment in which doctors we would use and to invite God into the services we receive. Pray over our doctors as they administer any type of healing to us. We can’t go wrong when we invite God to provide discernment and protection and we’re responsible to respond to His leading.

So let’s get into the episode. Quick recap of Part 1. It was mainly about how the body is created by God to have its own internal language, how we are created (mind, body and spirit) and how these 3 parts mesh together in such an intricate way that our body parts hold our experiences good and bad. So much so, Eileen gave a couple of examples of times when people received transplants and were subject to the original persons life. She also talked about how the body communicates within as well as gives us indication, warning and alarms when it needs attention, expression, healing. Let’s get started!

Live Loved and Thrive! 

Connect with Eileen via her email: restandrenewal@pm.me

Resources:
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
Restored for Life Now - Is the Emotion Code Safe for Christians: https://www.restoredforlifenow.com/post/is-the-emotion-code-safe-for-christians
American Psychological Association: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-48202-001
Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-you-and-me/201509/the-good-and-bad-emotion-regulation-strategies

 

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/2b8a14315ff14b879c04aec47ee74356/edit?organization_id=868176

Emotion Code, with Eileen Love - Part 1

I’m excited to bring you this topic on emotion code therapy because of the difference it has made in my mental and emotional health. My guest, Eileen Love is an Emotion Code Practitioner. This is a 2 part series with the fist covering all the different ways that the human body holds trauma and tries to convey the need for us to find healing. 

This is going to be a lengthy intro and a I hate that for you but there’s so much to unpack that I want to sort it out a little bit before we jump into the bulk of episode. My conversation with Eileen is full of examples, scripture, and first hand experiences to the point that I realized I'd have to create 2 episodes from all that Eileen shares. Part 2 will cover more of what an emotion code session looks like. 

The first thing I want to address is that this topic is going to be controversial in the Christian community. The reason is because it has been hijacked by new age healers. 

Before I explain why, allow me to give you a quick glimpse of why I brought emotion code healing to God for His input and it's because of a very good experience that I had with something similar, Theophostic Prayer Ministry or as many people call it Inner Healing Prayer therapy. 

In my theophostic prayer session I received breakthrough healing for what I believe (based on the peace in my mind/life/heart)to be the last layer of trauma for abandonment. However, I’ll be the first one to say that if I get triggered again around an abandonment issue it simply means that I still have some work to do for another layer of healing and I’m open to that because God heals me in layers. But in the meantime I live with deep peace because of Theophostic Prayer therapy.

A little history on this type of ministry is that a Baptist Minister, Ed Smith, developed the Theophostic Prayer Ministry model here in the United States back in the 90’s. 

A simplified explanation for what happens during a theophostic therapy session is that you sit with someone who is trained in this type of therapy and they guide you with questions around a traumatic event in your life and you talk with Jesus about what you are experiencing. 

In my theophostic prayer work I came to a place where I asked Jesus, "Where were you when my mother left me on the side of the road when I was 6 years old?"

As I verbally asked God this question, I was sitting still, eyes closed, nothing but darkness before me.  Then The Holy Spirit gave me the most precious image of Jesus walking beside me, his hand in the middle of my shoulder blades, He’s looking down at me. Maybe I’m talking and He’s listening but He’s looking at me and we’re walking together. That visual gave me proof that Jesus fulfills His promise that He’d never leave me nor forsake me. That one image broke off years of unforgiveness towards my mother. The power of guided prayer through painful memories stored in the body has immense reward when God and the Holy Spirit are engaged.

The outcome that I experienced with theophostic prayer is why I wanted to know God's opinion about Emotion Code therapy. 

Okay, so back to why the new age wants to make its claims on emotion code therapy. 

As believers this is no secret to us, whatever God says is good, Satan wants to distort it at the very least and destroy at the very worst. So when we look at God’s intention behind the healing qualities of herbs and oils or natural and organic healing options (because, in my humble opinion before all of the genetic mutations and man-made virus and chemicals etc. the human body, made from a handful of dust, would naturally find the healing elements that it needed from the earth) But Satan is not going to let God get the credit for that so in a vague and unassuming way satan adds his half truth to something and twists the focus away from the Creator to the created such as crystals, potions using the herbs, as well as energy healings. 

In satan’s half truths he uses a connecting link such as the fact that there is an energy to the body. God has given us a beating heart that is independent of anything outside itself. It has a rythm, a beat you can feel when you touch your pulse, an electrical current that registers on medical equipment.

But For us, Christians know that God sustains us and that by His hand we have breath, have life and healing in our body….So of course Satan is going to introduce something that sounds legit like energy healings. If you agree that there is an energy to the body then an energy healing sounds appropriate, right?

So why does emotion code therapy fall under that type of category of Satan wanting to distort and/or destroy it…emotion code healing, in a very simplistic explanation, is a therapy that locates and dislodges trauma trapped in the body. We all know that the body holds trauma and sometimes it gets so many layers buried on top of it that we loose sight of what the problem could be. 

Using the powerful name of Jesus and inviting Holy Spirit to discern trauma hidden in the body, people are finding healing and breakthrough for physical ailments that have no medical explanation, mental health is restored, anxiety is gone people are being set free from trauma. My favorite is set free from past trauma that the body has held onto.  

One of the unique things about emotion code healing is that It addresses the unique way that God has created us as mind/body/spirit/soul. The intricacies with which God has created us can only be fully appreciated and accessed by the One who knows His creation. Calling on God’s name for the restoration of our mind or our body is the only true source of healing.

Please know that I’m not trying to twist anybodies arm on this. Do like I did, check it out. Bring your concerns to God. Talk with Him about you fears. Give Him space to speak His truth to you.

Here are 3 scriptures that you can start to engage God’s heart about mental and emotional healing and ask Him to show you what it means to have a crushed spirit (something that is mental and/or emotional) and how it can dry up your bones (a physical manifestation):  

Proverbs 18:14 “A man's spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?”  

Proverbs 15:13 “A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed” 

Proverbs 17:22 “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

As solid Christians we know to stay away from anyone who calls on any other name, other than that of Jesus Christ for healing. We steer clear from those who would try to lead us to believe that crystals have some sort of magical powers. So when it comes to emotion code therapy we’re not looking for anything other than someone who calls on the name of Jesus, talks to Holy Spirit.  In my research I even found professed Christian sites that used crystals as part of their healing process. That's a big fat no. Anything that deviates from God's name as the healing power is a strong no.

Back to my guest, Eileen.  She is a solid Christian sold out on the love of Jesus. She and her husband came to the knowledge of Christ during the Jesus Revolution era. That in itself is an interesting aspect of her story and if you’d like to hear more about that then check out the episode she did with me on March 28th 2023 titled When a Husband disengages, God’s love is enough” 

But back to the current topic at hand. 

When it comes to Eileen’s daily pursuit of God’s heart, there’s no better day for her than inviting the Holy Spirit to give her discernment that allows her to lead God’s children into breakthrough and healing. 

In this episode she talks about the journey God has taken her on over the past 30 years working with the human body. She goes into detail telling you what she’s learned and how it impacted her so I’ll simply give a quick overview. 

From being the first woman reserve firefighter with the city of Kirkland Washington, an EMT who worked in the ER, massage therapist and then emotion code practitioner. At every phase she’s learned how miraculous the body is and the intimacy of God’s care for His beloved children. 

After listening to Eileen, it’s very intriguing to me to understand how the body has the ability to heal on a physical level, say bruises, cuts, breaks, surgery, and yet there can be additional damage on a mental or emotional level. 

It is becoming very apparent that to fully heal from various traumas against/to/in the body, it will also entail addressing the mental and emotional impact as well.

Further fascinating to me is the way the body communicates with the other parts of the body, specifically the brain. The body can have a whole conversation going on within itself and we can totally miss it. And yet it cries out to us, indicating where we need to take a closer look, calling us, demanding us to find a source of healing. All using the natural alarm system given to us by God himself which is our emotions.

Listen in to these amazing examples that Eileen gives us of how the body conveys its need internally as well as externally. For me, it’s another beautiful display of God’s Sovereign design and the intimacy with which He created us.

Live Loved and Thrive!

Connect with Eileen via her email: Restandrenewal@pm.me

Resources:
Restored for Life Now - Is the Emotion Code Safe for Christians: https://www.restoredforlifenow.com/post/is-the-emotion-code-safe-for-christians
American Psychological Association: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-48202-001
Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-you-and-me/201509/the-good-and-bad-emotion-regulation-strategies

Book by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk - The Body Keeps the Score
There are also workbooks for The Body Keeps the Score by several authors but I did not find one by Dr Kolk.

Want more information/episodes about other types of deliverance ministry options? Here are some links to past episodes:
Emotion Code Part 2
Finding Freedom Through the Deliverance Ministry

 

Transcription:  https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/bf0b7a426be54071953826e78bb874c0/view?organization_id=868176

Your Story Matters

Your Story Matters

Believe it or not you are a natural born story-teller and your story has the power to change lives. In this episode I'm not talking about the crafted stories you see in books or movies because if we wrote books and movies in the vernacular that we naturally use, they would never sell. So I’m focused on the way we organically engage the world around us with the spoken word.

So let's first look at how we might underestimate and under appreciate words. While I know that you know how important words are, I liken it to, someone who has a natural understanding of something; maybe it's science, art, music, language and because it comes easy to them, they downplay the importance, the gift. They don't understand why it's not obvious to other people. Same with words, it’s such a natural way for us to communicate that we don’t grasp the absolute power of our spoken words. 

 Dr. Jordan Peterson (a Canadian Psychologist) said something to this effect (with regard to the importance of words), "our whole culture is based on the idea of the supremacy of the word, that it is the word itself that extracts habitable order from chaos and possibility."  

For me, the most compelling example of the absolute power of the spoken word is that God spoke everything into being. Psalm 33:9 says, "For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm." There are many other scriptures that tell of God speaking things into being. Genesis, right? When God spoke everything into existence. He gives us a beautiful example of the power and importance of words.

And to further drive home the value of words in our every day life. Every morning, you rise and begin to use words to bring order to your day as you make choices. You share things about yourself with those around you. Each time you connect with someone, you’re communicating in a way that conveys your needs, sharing a little bit about what’s been going on in your life, maybe sharing bits of information about your family as well as asking them questions and listening to their reply about what’s happening in their world. You are engaging in shared story.

And that’s why I say you are a natural born story-teller. The simple act of using words to navigate our day is the most natural form of communication where we share experiences and create connection. 

Here’s another way to look at the importance of words. For a moment think about a solitary confinement environment. It doesn’t have to be a jail cell because there are plenty of people who live alone and have a limited ability to interact with others. People such as the elderly, or widows, those who have an illness that limits mobility, the youth of today are isolated from real life. So imagine what it would be like if you were not able to talk to anyone. 

Even if you saw someone, maybe they come to drop off food or provide a health appointment like a nurse stops by your house, but the time frame that they’re there is limited and they’e simply fulfilling their job duties so it’s a brief exchange at best. Very limited. 

To have a friendly verbal exchange with someone is vital to life with regard to mental health, relationship, connection and posterity? One of the most common desires of the human heart is to be seen, heard, valued and conversation can fill that need. Life is automatically enriched and becomes more meaningful when we talk with, share with and listen to those around us.  

A minute ago I mentioned movies and books, and there is also the news and social media, various outlets that engage people. The attraction to these types of formats is that they are all story based and that’s why people tune in. Shared story will never get old. It’s foundation to our culture.

I think this establishes the importance of words and this is where I want to intersect your story. When we give proof of something in our lie, things based on our personal knowledge and experience, that is also known as a testimony.

Most times when people hear the word testimony they immediately categorize that as exclusive to a church setting. They automatically assume that means someone’s salvation story (your story of how God’s love overwhelmed you to the point that you accepted what He did on the cross, acknowledged that you were a sinner and asked Him to dwell in you with His Holy Spirit). But In this particular episode I want to go beyond the standard salvation testimony. Don’t get me wrong, they’re needed and they’re powerful and I’m not going to exclude them but I want to push out this topic when it comes to how we think about our personal testimony with regard to God’s goodness. 

As believers (those who have made a profession of Fatih, accepting what Christ did on the cross/the shedding of His blood as payment for our sins) we have a place of authority in Christ. We exercise the authority given to us is when we follow in God's footsteps using the example He gave us. We open our mouth and speak. And in the particular context of shared story, we tell about the goodness of God in all types of situations in our lives. 

In Revelation 12:11 God shares a 2 part position of authority over Satan. The latter part of that verse says that we triumph over him (the evil one) by the blood of the Lamb (the lamb being Christ crucified on the cross) and the word of our testimony. 

God gives us specific instructions on how we can overcome Satan’s influence in our mind, our body…our life and the lives of those around us. So part of our authority has to do with opening our mouth and sharing with others, our personal experience aka testimony of who God has been for us in the painful places of our life. When we do, we weaken and even break the lies that Satan is wooing us to believe, or maybe even has us believing. 

When we experience God’s presence, influence, truth, love, comfort, peace, joy …..It literally exposes Satan as the liar that he is. 

And when we open our mouth and speak of the goodness of God we become tangible evidence to the world around us. We are evidence of the fact that God cares about our pain. That He enters into our suffering with us to comfort us, and lead us through.

Here are a few examples of testimonies you have to share about with others. To be honest, as you move through your full cycle of life, you may have each one of these testimonies throughout the years ahead:

If you’ve professed God as your personal Lord and Savior, then you have a salvation testimony - you have an Acts 4:12 testimony (12 Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.”). You can share where you were in life, what sort of condition your heart was in or the journey you were on to find truth, peace, comfort…how did God meet you in your moment of need and what is the difference He has made.

If God showed up for you in your dark valley, then you have a Psalm 23:4 testimony. (…yea though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death I will fear no evil). You can testify to who God is in some of the darkest places that the human heart can experience. 

Has God healed you..then you have a Psalm 147:3 testimony (He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.) People need to know the heart of God for those who are afflicted. 

Maybe you’re experiencing a long term health condition? Are you a caregiver? You have a Deu 31:8 testimony (Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.) If this is you, then you have the ability to testify to the mysteries that God has revealed to you about His heart for those who suffer long term.

Sharing your first hand experience of what you discovered about God in your trauma is a sliver of gold to another hurting heart. It’s the knot at the end of the rope for someone who feels all alone and wants to give up. 

As many of you know this podcast was born out of a very dark valley that I walked though. My guests, predominantly women, share their personal story of who God is in the context of pain and suffering. I do this because shared story lightened my grief stricken heart when I unexpectedly lost my husband. 

As I would experience the various emotions that are associated with grief and in the times when my emotions became very intense and I was really struggling, God would send me a woman who would share her story and it would ease the pain that seared my heart. 

One example I’ll give you and it’s the story that always stands out to me when I think about the purpose of my podcast so I may have already shared this. I was struggling with the would’ves, should’ves and could’ves. In other words, the guilt of not having done enough for my husband because if I had, he’d still be alive today. That’s how Satan approached me in this painful place…I believed that if I had picked up on something, and of course in hindsight it seems so obvious, I could have changed the outcome for my husband, me, our family, my grandchildren. The weight on my heart was massive.

I kept running the various scenarios over and over in my mind. The ones that would have me get him to the hospital and they’d see that he was having a heart attack and they’d get him the help he needed and he’d still be here with us. 

And God, in His sweetness, in His kindness, sent a woman who had the courage to share her story. She said, Sherrie, my husband was in the care of doctors twice. The third time was an ambulance ride in the wee hours of the morning. I was up with our one week old daughter when he left in the ambulance. His third trip to the hospital. He died. In the care of professionals. He had meningitis and they missed it. It hit me…Professionals are not God and I’m not God. 

Hearing her story broke the grip that Satan had on my beliefs and lifted the weight of mental and emotional chaos and torment that was suffocating me. 

Some things simply belong to God and that revelation was made clear through the example in her story. Submitting myself to God’s sovereignty gave my mind and my heart a place to rest. 

Sometimes I rested in His lap, other times draped across His shoulders because He had to carry me and other times face down in the floor at His feet. But every time that I got a glimpse of His tender hands and His firmly rooted feet I got a glimpse of His scars…the scars on the hands and feet of the One who carries the burden of life and death.  

Knowing that God has a solution to death…a literal reunion for His believers…and experiencing His intimacy in the darkest time of my life I now have a story that I will never get tired of sharing because I know what it feels like to struggle with God about serious faith and life questions. I know what it’s like for Satan to constantly undermine our well being with lies, planting chaos and spinning the truth at every turn. 

The part of my story that I will share until my last breath is the goodness and kindness of God despite the pain of this life. I love using those 2 simple words…goodness and kindness. They’re extremely simple but don’t be fooled like I was….with God, in the dark places of life His goodness and kindness run extravagantly deep, and reveal infinite wisdom. Nothing about the pain of this life negates, detracts from God. It’s why you’ll often hear me say these 2 things:

1- God has not given us a vocabulary to accurately describe Him. I am unable to give Him His due honor, His proper praise and my full thanksgiving because of our limited vocabulary.

2- God speaks beautiful things in the dark. In the intimacy of pain, a place where no one else can reach,  is where we discover how extravagantly deep and how infinitely wise God is as He reveals mysteries about His heart for us.

God gives us, not just anywhere, but a specific somewhere and even better, He gives us a specific someone…to rest our heart and quiet our mind, we’re able lift our head under the weight of the pain. He gives us His son Jesus. And because of Jesus, we can have a joy that does not make any sense in the context of suffering. We can have peace knowing that God will bring beauty from the rubble and ash that used to resemble your life. 

So when it comes to our story, we’ve looked at the natural way we engage in shared story, We looked at the power of the spoken word when God spoke things into being. We also looked at the authority given to believers when we open our mouth and testify as well as the various ways we can let other’s know they’re not alone in their questions, confusion, chaos.

And that brings us to this question…Whether it’s your salvation testimony, a dark valley where God met you or the faithfulness of God through a painful health condition, how do we tell our story in a way that reveals the heart of God and reminds those who are suffering that they are not alone in their bone saturating pain. 

Here are 3 ways that you can encourage someone to not give up. To point them to the One who is able to turn the painful places of this life into something they never imagined possible and it's by using your story to introduce them to the One they can lean on, rest in and find peace in the days ahead. 

Keep this in mind when you are ready to share your story: People are genuinely overwhelmed with life so we want to be as intentional and purposeful about the parts of our story we want to share vs need to shared. 

1. What was life like before your moment of conversion, trauma, the health crisis?

Choose one example that reflects the condition of your life before it was interrupted and flipped upside down. One of the things that I would share with someone (especially if I knew it would only be a brief exchange) would be to say, my husband and I were in the sweet spot of life having weathered a little over 33 years of being together and then out of nowhere, he was gone leaving behind absolute emotional and mental devastation.  

2.  What did it look like for you to hit the wall and cry out to God?

Describe that moment when you finally came to the end of yourself…acknowledged that you did not have the ability to change your circumstance and you cried out to God. 

As an example I might say, I struggled to make sense of what happened. The questions swirling in my mind and my heart created a level of chaos in my life that I could not escape. When I finally decided to lay down my self-defined rights to have all of my questions answered in a way that made sense and fit together nice neat is when I could finally discern God's gentle kind voice. 

3. In what ways did God respond? Share one of two ways that God showed Himself faithful.

I'd probably finish up by saying, I found Jesus to be a safe place to struggle with heavy questions about life, death and faith. He never shamed me nor rejected me. He simply absorbed my pain and gently showed me the way to healing. 

Those are the 3 highlights you can use to structure your story around. Add more if you're speaking in a more relaxed setting, add less if you only get 60 seconds with someone.   

You may have heard me say this before….shared story makes the world go around in a much richer way. It is your shared story that will connect with people to healing, grow relationship, create community and solidify your family.

The final benefit of sharing your testimony about the God of the Holy Bible whether it be in the context of pain and suffering without God (and therefore your conversion/salvation testimony) or pain and suffering in the midst of a relationship with God....is that to do so is to take part in a portion of your redemption that God has for you. God never allows anything that He does not plan to redeem. In God’s hands, redemption is guaranteed….He wastes nothing…He is the sole power and authority to take what satan meant to destroy us with and turn it for our good and God’s glory. 

And people need to know that. So Share your story every time you get a chance because someone's heart needs to be encouraged. Someone needs to know that it's going to get better. Someone needs to know that God cares. Your story can make a difference to someone.

Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com