Finding God in Our Pain

Did God Fail Jane?

As you listen to this episode today, you can replace Jane's name with yours. Jane could really be any one of us and the battle she fights is ours too. Simply insert the thing that you fear most in place of what she battled and this message will apply to, dare I say everyone. We've all experienced painful, helpless situations where we couldn't lift our hand to change our circumstance. We've all struggled with God through prayer and pain. What does God offer us when what we're praying for we never see come to fruition?

I’ve been in this place of contemplation with God. I often grab ahold of something complicated, or at least complicated to me, and begin to talk with God about it. Sometimes He gives me understanding, discernment right away but other times He unfolds things as I talk with Him over a period of time.

Allow me to lay some groundwork for this topic, albeit common knowledge but kindly be patient with me as I include any new listeners. This podcast is rooted in discovering the various ways that we personally experience God’s presence in our pain. I find great encouragement to hear the different testimonies of God’s goodness despite the painful places of this life. You could say that I embrace having difficult conversations and taking a closer look at the suffering in this life with the goal of finding God’s presence in the midst. 

Jesus entered into our pain way before we ever knew anything about sin and the resulting consequences and that was when He was crucified on the cross. He physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually experienced things He was never guilty of. 

He felt every degree of shame, guilt, confusion, disappointment, trauma, sickness, rejection, abandonment. All of the things that come from sin and rebellion and that create fear and terror in our hearts. He took all of those things with Him, driving them down into the grave. When He rose from death to life, He left our sin and shame there, in the grave. 

Having overcome the things that torture us in this life, He now attends to our pain from the position of having conquered it. Therefore, He’s not afraid, He’s not offended. There's nothing you can do to make Him turn away. That’s good news right, we’re never alone in our pain but the best news is that He knows the way out. So He meets us in our traumas to care for us and to show us the way to heal. The healing he purchased for us with His blood. 

Since the unexpected passing of my husband and the intimacy that I experienced with Jesus through my grieving process I have a strong desire to discover God’s heart for those who who are familiar with some of the darkest valleys that we can know in this life.

Because of my curiosity, I’ve been pondering the story of Jane Marczewski. You may remember her as Nightbirde. Simon Cowell of America’s Got Talent (AGT) awarded this surprising songstress the Golden Buzzer and she was showered with massive amounts of gold confetti. Simon’s approval pushed her right past every other audition required to make it to the series of live shows. Talk about the favor of the Lord, I mean this was Simon Cowell. He was gold buzzer level impressed.

In the music industry a gold buzzer from AGT is the breakthrough a music artist needs. At the very least, it’s acknowledgement for all of the years of hard work, scrimping, saving, waiting tables, doing odd jobs, singing anywhere they’ll let you…for pennies or nothing at all. Surely, it was just the start of her dream coming true.

Course the AGT model for the show is that before Jane performs her original song titled, It’s Ok, the panel of judges asked her a few questions and Jane reveals that she is receiving cancer treatments adding, that she has a "2% chance of survival" with "some cancer in my lungs, spine and liver." 

When pressed a little more by the judges Jane replies, “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.” Adding, “I have a 2% chance of survival but 2% isn't 0%. Two percent is something and I wish people knew how amazing it is.”

If you know of Jane’s breakthrough moment and pursuit of living out her dreams to sing for the world, she most certainly did make an impression on the world. And you will also know that at the age of 31, she lost her four year battle with cancer in February 2022. 

What does God have to say about Jane’s life as an example to us? I’m not asking in an accusatory way, but in a genuine desire to know HIs heart for us when tragedy flips our world upside down and robs us of what we had planned, what we had hoped for, what we felt we were born to accomplish. I mean, why give us talents that we will never get to use….or at the very least, use for but a brief moment in time? I'm aware that that question creates mores questions. Why do we humans confine our value to this finite existence? Who is to say using our talents here, in this life is the only valid option?

As I combed over the multitude of material produced about Jane I listened to her profess her faith in an NBC4 interview. She said that while she does not specifically sing to a Christian audience, anything and everything that she does will be influenced by her Christian faith. 

Jane was a Christian believer who consistently showed her faith in believing that God would heal her this side of the grave. And yet that didn’t happen. Did God fail her?

Jane wrote a poem titled, God is on the Bathroom Floor and in that poem you can hear her struggle with God about her pain writing, "I have called Him a cheat and a liar and I have meant it. I have told Him I wanted to die and I meant it. Tears have become the only prayer I know."

But you also hear the intimacy she discovered about God's heart woven in between the push and pull of living and dying. She wrote, "Call me bitter if you want to, that's fair, count me among the angry, the cynical, the offended, the hardened but count me also among the friends of God for I have seen Him in rare form. I have felt His exhale laid in His shadow, squinted to read the message He wrote or me in the grout, I'm sad too.

In her poem Jane carries you along the journey of challenging God, looking deeper and deeper to find His heart for her. In the process she allows Jesus to embrace her, to comfort her to speak His truth with His presence and she begins to redefine what she thought she knew about living.

There’s a song written by Maverick City, a worship group, and it’s one of the songs that Jane recorded titled, The Story I’ll Tell. The opening line is “The Hour is dark and it’s hard to see what you are doing here in the ruins and where this will lead.” 

When tragedy, trauma, and even guilt and shame interrupt our lives to the degree that it’s hard to fathom how we will ever put the pieces back together, let alone even find all the pieces, where is God? Is He capable of taking what used to resemble our life or parts of it, and making any sense out of the pile of ash and dust left behind? Moments like this is when we need a life line so it's good to remember that dust in the right hands, is new life in the making.

We need hope because even if we have a strong faith there are simply times when we can’t wrap our mind around how God will ever turn our situation into something redeemable especially when we're limited by this life and what we know.

You may have heard me share this before because I heard this statement many times after my husband passed. It was said with the best intentions and I received it with grace. However, I found no comfort in it. God will not give you more than you can handle.

Sweet friend, I want to personally acknowledge that God most certainly allows us to experience more than we can handle. But here’s what I discovered about that.

God doesn’t allow anything that He doesn’t plan to redeem. Because of the finished work of the cross, God’s heart will always be for us to receive the fullness of our debt paid with His Son’s blood so that we can walk in the benefits here. Now. Today. Jesus is qualified and capable to redeem the pain of this life because He already has. The only missing piece is our willingness to give God our pain and allow Him to guide us to the healing He has.

In the times when we shut God out of our pain we’ve closed ourself off to anything good. Jesus is the only option for good in this life. 

During Jane’s treatment she stayed at a Cancer Center for Healing in Irvine California. Owned and operated by Virginia Dixon, this facility employs what their website describes as the R.E.S.T. (Relational, Emotional, and Spiritual Truth) and the Re-Constitution Method as an integrated approach to healing. If you want to know more information on that cancer center, I’ll have the link in the show notes.

What caught my attention on this particular bit of info on Jane's life is that it seems, and granted this is what I could discern having never been there. What I'm sharing with you today is based on a Youtube video of information produced by Virginia Dixon and the Cancer Center for Healing. It’s about their principles, practices and how that tied into Jane’s treatment there.

So what intrigued me is that they seek hope, peace and freedom in the midst of uncertainty. Because although Jane's life had a glimmer of hope, remember 2%, all of the options were fading. In times like that life is confusing, full of chaos in your mind, literal pain in your heart, nothing familiar about your life and R.E.S.T. goes looking for hope, peace and freedom among the rubble. In the Youtube video it states (through a graphic) that “Jane’s story with R.E.S.T. is more about reconciling relational, emotional and spiritual conflicts than the implications of a medial diagnosis.” 

I don’t know about you but I see that as a different approach. Maybe I’m just now becoming aware of it but seeing the person, and I mean really seeing the person not the disease alone; digging into the emotions, relationships and the spiritual nature of a person is going deeper than a physical issue, it's acknowledging the way God created us with mind, body and spirit. He's meshed these elements together and sometimes we need to look at these places individually.

Through a series of slides in the R.E.S.T. video it says that Jane was willing to be vulnerable and transparent, laying her brokenness on the table. She made progress and never lost sight of her dreams. Suddenly, she began to decline and became conflicted. In her despair, anger rose to the surface. 

She had some tough questions for God. “Why is God doing this to me? Why is He torturing me? I still have dreams. This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. I’ve done all the right things. I’m exhausted. I’m tired. I’m mad as hell.”

The next slide reveals the crux of Jane’s struggle, saying, “This was a defining moment…A root of bitterness was the source of her conflict. Her body couldn’t fight herself and cancer at the same time.” 

Have you ever had your own bitter questions for God because we can replace that word cancer with doubt, fear, shame, guilt, trauma, addiction...whatever is terrorizing you.

Virginia goes on to share that “There is no procedure or medical protocol that can overcome the damage from dark intrusive thoughts we choose to believe. They must be displaced with the truth.” And that “There is life in truth! When we embrace it, regardless of how painful, it builds our faith, and making sense of the world around us becomes easier.”

That word truth always sticks out to me. It is not only key to orienting us to life but it also gifts with us freedom in the here and now. And for us, as believers in the God of the Holy Bible, we know the Fountainhead of truth. Christians describe it as the Trinity. God the Father, Jesus the Son and Holy Spirit.

When I’m pondering something heavy with God, He’ll often show me things in the most unlikely places. I saw a clip on (I think it was) Instagram and it’s of Dr. Jordan Peterson talking to Joe Rogan. 

I feel sure everyone knows Joe Rogan and you may also know Dr. Jordan Peterson. He is a Canadian psychologist, has an intellectual mindset yet grounded in reality, I had to mention that because sadly I think logic grounded in reality is a rare find in the psychiatry world today. I don’t know that he’s a believer but he has several episodes where he conducts round table discussions with other intellectuals and scholars on the various books of the Bible. I’m listening to the one he did on Exodus. 

And because of that, I knew what Dr. Peterson was talking about with Joe Rogan. He’s telling Joe about the snakes biting the Israelites in the desert.

In the book of Numbers, Chapter 21, the Israelites go to Moses to apologize and acknowledge their sin against God and they beg Moses to plead with God for relief from the poisonous snakes. So Moses goes to God and God tells Moses to fashion a snake and lift it up on a pole and anyone who is bitten can look at it and live. So if the Israelites were obedient to God’s instructions to literally stare at what they feared, they would find life.

Then Dr. Peterson makes a reference to the scripture John 3:14, “Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up.” 

And here’s the revelation that God gave me and I’m sure it was the point that Dr Peterson was driving home but more times than not I need God's revelation when viewing Him through a deeply layered intellectual lens. And to be clear I’m not saying I’m the only one with this revelation. More than likely I’m late to the party but God downloads revelation when we seek to know Him.

Here’s the clarity that God gave me. Just like when the Israelites were obedient to God's instruction to stare at what they feared (the snake) and were given life, we too can look upon the finished work of the cross because what we find is under the victorious feet of Jesus are all the fears of this life. We stare at Jesus and what we find in Him replaces our fear with His truth. We share in His victory over all the things of this life that steal, kill and destroy.

So we stare at Jesus, engage His heart, learn His word, and discover His truth. When we wrestle well with Jesus and at the same time behold His face, we discover profound beauty as He dismantles our fears and replaces them with His presence. Then we receive His peace for our anxiety, His love for our hatred, His acceptance for our rejection, His presence for our loneliness etc. 

The word says that God catches our tears and that He will wipe away every tear. Keep this close to your heart, He does so with pierced, scarred hands.

Backing up just a little bit to finish the journey between Jane and Virginia Dixon. After Jane expressed her bitterness and Virginia pointed out that cancer wasn’t killing her that she was self-destructing because her body could not fight both the cancer and bitterness, the video slide says that Jane left their conversation “angry and despondent” and Virginia didn’t know whether or not she’d ever see her again. 

In the song, The Story I’ll Tell, there’s a part of the chorus and why the song is titled as such. I’ve chopped it up here so what I’m getting read is not verbatim.  My God did not fail…it’s the story I’ll tell. All that is left is highest praises, sing hallelujah to the Rock of Ages. 

There’s another full stanza that she sings, And I’ll testify of the battles You’ve won, How You were my portion when there wasn’t enough. And I’ll sing the song of the seas that we crossed The waters You parted, the waves that I walked. 

Jane showed incredible strength in the face of adversity, literal crossroads of life and death. She stood on her faith not only publicly but also in an authentic and transparent way through her music, poems and at the treatment center. 

Virginia Dixon had privy to Jane’s intimate struggle with God and here’s what Virginia Dixon and R.E.S.T. shared in the Youtube video as it began to wrap up… “By faith we surrender outcomes, trusting that when God gives us a dream, He’ll make a provision.” 

I know what it sounds like vs what we know happened to Jane. It’s tempting to think it was a futile fight. But read her poem, listen to her sing. Jane discovered things about God’s heart that she would have never known in any other way. The discoveries she experienced were things that we don’t have the ability to accurately verbalize. 

Whether we get to hear her testimonies audibly (spoken by her) or she gets to proclaim them in the heavens beyond our human existence, she’s seen God victoriously fight her battles and intimately attended to her when she had nothing left. Her voice fills the heavens with songs of praise about the seas that they crossed together, the waters that were parted and the waves she walked in faith. Admittedly, not in the exact way Jane had initially envisioned. But rather in God's value system, in heaven's embrace.

And that’s Jane’s redemption. Communing daily with God, singing with the unique voice she was given, in the perfection and the opulence of how God created her. In the place where no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no human mind has conceived. In the exquisiteness that God has prepared for His beloved. The talents that we know of with regard to Jane were merely a shadow of her full expression.

I’m not saying she isn’t missed or that she didn’t leave a gapping hole in the hearts of her family, friends and all those who loved her...because if I was her parent or a sibling I would be tempted to say, well that's great, but I really don't care, I just want her back here with me.... but the fact remains, because death is a reality in this life, God has gone ahead of us and prepared a way, through His Son Jesus, for us to be reunited with our loved ones. 

Jane has never been more her than she is in the presence of her Creator who absolutely delights in her face to face. When she opens her mouth and continues to share her beauty, her voice, her song, you better believe that God is captivated by her excellence. 

The R.E.S.T. video wraps up with Virginia doing rounds at a clinic and sees Jane 3 weeks after her angry exit. Jane “beckons Virginia to come over, to get closer” and she says to Virginia, “You were right, after three weeks of wrestling with God, I’m free.” 

The freedom that God has for us is rooted in dismantling the fears of this life. When we look into the face of that which terrifies us and we allow God to speak His truth into the things we think are true, the lies we believe about our world/about people, offering Him the lens we’ve created based on our experiences, He gives us Himself, His presence, His truth. In doing so we can live in victory, unafraid of the terrors of this life. 

For those who have the courage to engage God about their painful places, to allow Him into our struggle with good and evil, life and death there will come a time when God asks you like He asked me and has done so on several occasions. Sherrie, If I don't do what you'e asking me to do in the way you are expecting me do it, will you still love me? Am I still enough? I have learned that my submission to His sovereignty ensures my victory. And by victory I mean, peace that surpasses earthly comprehension, freedom to live above the brokenness of this life.

God didn't fail Jane and He won't fail you either. When we have the courage to authentically and genuinely look upon the face of Jesus and struggle well, offering up that which fills our mind and our heart with fear, He graciously, gently gives His victory over the grave.

Live Loved and Thrive!

 

Resource Links:
Poem by Jane: God is on the Bathroom Floor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5r3Nmydp8A
Youtube R.E.S.T. Video story of Jane Marcs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLbnh9FKSUwO
NCR4 Channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSOhtHtbVyI
Youtube Jane singing The Story I’ll Tell: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX_Mb-jsb7c
The Story I’ll Tell Lyrics: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/maverickcitymusic/thestoryilltell.html
Dr. Jordan Peterson: Exodus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTXU78NC_h4
Nightbirde Foundation: https://www.nightbirdefoundation.org/
R.E.S.T. - Cancer Center of Healing website: https://www.virginiadixon.com/

 

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/21496461de79484db10e05261c8a5cca/view?organization_id=868176

Living Well Despite Chronic Illness, with Jen Hardy

Living Well Despite Chronic Illness with Jen Hardy

Chronic illness is not what defines Jen Hardy and that's why I view her as a remarkable woman. Because of her many challenges in life our conversation covers a variety of topics. 

We talk about the meaning of life and how to find it, and the beauty of being in your 50's+. We talked about her homeschooling career with her 7 children, two of whom are on the spectrum. She impressed me when listening to how she learned to have a quality life despite the various challenges but here's why I call her a miracle, she's exceeded and continues to surpass her life expectancy based on a chronic illness that she lives with every day.

Jen has a depth of revelation that has been forged in the midst of serious life adversity. 

Of all the interesting things we talked about here's what stood out for me. Jen has made the most of every season of life and every challenge that has presented itself.

Jen doesn't merely exist in her circumstances nor does she simply get through it, she capitalizes on it. Every chapter of her life finds her pressing into God to discover who He is and who she's been created to be with the various challenges that she's experienced. 

Be encouraged by the wealth of beauty that Jen Hardy shares with us today!

Live Loved and Thrive!

Here’s more content on the topic of Chronic Illness:
https://alifeofthrive.com/podcast/chronic-illness/
https://alifeofthrive.com/2021/09/29/pain-2/

Connect with Jen:
Links:
Website:
https://jenhardy.net
Podcast:
https://jenhardy.net/fabulous-over-50
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/thejenhardy
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/thejenhardy/
LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/thejenhardy/

Bio:

Jen Hardy is on a mission to help women find their inner fabulousness and transition into the life of their dreams. She’s been blogging since 2015; wrote the book, “The Sick Mom’s Guide” in 2017; and started the “Fabulous Over Fifty” Podcast (formerly Hardy Mom) in 2018. In 2022 she published three 5-year journals and also founded the Space Coast Podcasters, a group from Orlando to the coast bringing local podcasters together. In 2023 she co-hosted Podfest Expo, founded the Fabulous Over Fifty Gold Circle mastermind for podcasting women, and is preparing to publish her fifth book.

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/117da9f274aa4de68243f69f9e7efb85/edit_v2?organization_id=868176

Christian Marriage, Abuse and Boundaries, with Stephanie Jordan

Christian Marriage, Abuse and Boundaries with Stephanie Jordan 

My guest Stephanie Jordan and I talk about boundaries and how they are necessary in unhealthy relationships. We even discussed Christian marriage where abuse is present and she shares what God revealed to her about releasing her from her first marriage and how divorce was the fruit of her sin. 

Stephanie, a mother of 5 and now a widow talks about the difference in her two marriages, one that turned abusive and included alcohol and the second to a man who was previously known as a hard core punk rocker with a drug problem but before you make any assumptions, he did come to a point in his life where he accepted Jesus as his personal Savior, was living a clean life and even started a ministry for the homeless. But as many of you may know….addiction is a demon that does not give up easily and so Stephanie found herself once again having to draw boundaries to keep her and her children safe. 

Stephanie gave us insight into what it looks like when relationship goes off the rails, how do we know we need to remove ourself from the equation, under what circumstances, for how long etc. She even talks about the importance of relaying clear boundaries to your children so that you can keep yourself healthy and sane as a parent who is getting pulled in every direction. 

She and I talked also talked about how God has set boundaries and has requirements in place for us to be able to do life with Him, a life that is healthy, respectful, wise, discerning, loving, kind and that’s just to name of few of the benefits.

If you’re thinking boundaries don’t feel so loving. She also explained why those who have a hard time saying no (for the purpose of setting a boundary), how they perceive boundaries, one of which is that they feel selfish when they set a boundary especially with someone they love. Something she said that I really liked and it was along the lines of, if you can’t say no, you’re not ready for no so don’t miss that part when she breaks that down for us.

Stephanie is light hearted, grounded in the word, and down to earth. In other words, you’ll connect with her easily! Let’s listen in!

Live Loved and Thrive!

 

Connect with Stephanie:
My website: https://thestephaniejordan.com/

 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/thestephaniejordan/

 

FB: https://www.facebook.com/TheStephanieJordan

 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/The_StephJordan

 

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thestephanie-jordan/

 

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1958441007 (book)
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B1W6SQNK  (ebook)

 

Bio:
Stephanie Jordan is an author, teacher, and speaker. She has been a cosmetologist for 24 years. She has 5 amazing kids with 4 extras that her husband brought into the family. She has one dog and two cats.

 
She has broad life experiences and likes adventure. She loves Jesus and intends to spend her life sharing His message in an unconventional way. Her artistic and rock n roll style influence her outlook on life and living it to the full. She is passionate about riding her Harley Davidson Sportster 48 and reading, writing and painting. 

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/a4bcb88d1fd74eb7b01747a5be652d0a/edit_v2?organization_id=868176

 

 

When a Husband Disengages, God’s Love is Enough, with Eileen Love

What do we do when our husband disengages? What are our options when they're not able to give us the emotional attachment we long for? My guest, Eileen Love shares what God showed her after her husband pulled away from his faith and from her.

Eileen and I talk about her faith journey as part of the Jesus Revolution generation. Coming into the knowledge of Jesus and choosing to receive what He offers us, eternal life, was just the beginning of her story. It would be her personal relationship with Christ as the lifeline she’d need to live free in this life, despite the reality of a deep ache in her heart for her beloved husband to return fully to his faith.

Eileen comes to knowledge of Christ as a young person. She meets a young man, he’s a new believer too and he later becomes her husband. Once married they seek out and find a church they believe is a good fit to feed their hunger to learn more about Christ. They’re passionate about growing in their faith and they lean into their new church family. But sadly, it would be in this family environment that their faith would be challenged by what they would later come to understand, was a church of false religion, a cult.

This becomes a very significant marker in her husband’s life. That situation, along with some other experiences take its toll on him and Eileen's husband disengages from his faith to the point that Eileen can’t talk to him about God. She can’t share important things with the man she dearly loves. She feels alienated in her marriage, discouraged and mad at God.

How did Eileen stay in her marriage until her husband's passing, a 40+ year commitment with a husband who did not share his whole self with her? A marriage where she was not able to share her whole self with her precious husband.

I know that when things go bad we often ask God to put it back together, make it like it used to be. However, the beauty of allowing God to restore things is that He never puts them back like they used to be. And if we really think about it, do we want it back like it used to be? More than likely it fell apart for a reason. It wasn't able to hold up under the pressure of life. Especially if it's not God centered. God restores with His value system and that’s how we get things we never imagined or thought to ask for.  

As it does for all of us at some point in our journey, God draws Eileen back into His heart. He shows her the power of His love for her that overwhelms the lack of her earthly relationship with her beloved husband. She has some wonderful insight and shares the revelations that changed her mindset, encouraged her heart and enabled her to love her husband no matter what.

We close in a really beautiful place talking about the deeper things of relationship that God has for us in the midst of complicated life like a husband who disengages. God has bigger dreams, with deeper roots, bigger revelations that lead to deeper intimacy. Simply put, what He has for us is a beauty that is not of this world. We can’t perceive it until we experience it with Him. He does it for our good and His Glory

Let's listen in!

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/dab65521df2e48c5be778ad5780ff5dd/edit_v2?organization_id=868176

 

Surviving Grief and The Death of Her Daughter, with Carole Sluski

Surviving Grief and The Death of Her Daughter with Carole Sluski

One of the most difficult experiences in this life would have to be surviving the loss of a child. I had the sweet opportunity to talk with 78 year old Carole Sluski. She has a passion for offering hope and encouragement to other parents, who, like her, have had to navigate immense grief after loosing a child. Thirty years ago, Carole laid to rest her 24 year old daughter, Paula.

Podcasts have become a fresh new way to share one's message so Carole has a renewed passion to tell her story with the goal of letting other parents know they’re not alone. She has also authored a book entitled, Thirty - A Mother's Spirtual Journey After Loosing Her Child, and she shares about her journey, from a Catholic perspective of surviving the most painful thing she's ever experienced. 

Something worth pointing out for my audience is that I acknowledge the differences between Carole’s Catholic faith and mine being an Evangelical Christian.  

With regard to those differences, I talked with Carole prior to our actual podcast episode. She was comfortable with my perspective and what my audience would be looking for and the possibility that some things could potentially be edited out.

For the most part, it was moderately edited. I did however, leave some differences that I felt could be wisely discerned by my Evangelical audience. Additionally, I also left some differing opinions when I was able to add my perspective.

I always enjoy differing conversations because I’m intrigued to hear how we, as one human race, make sense of the world around us. How we set up belief systems, which ones we ascribe to and in what way. 

I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did!

Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com

Connect with Carole on her website: https://www.carolesluski.com/ 

BIO: Carole Sluski is a mother of two daughters, but she is also a victim of the worst loss a person can have: she is a parent who lost her child and experienced mental and physical pain of grief. Through devotion in faith, she reached out to God for help to survive.

She currently resides in Florida with her husband Dr. Dennis Sluski, and after thirty years, Carole had a calling to share her journey of learning how to live out life with peace and well-being. Her story will make you cry, laugh, connect, understand, learn, sympathize, appreciate, and believe in hope.

Over the course of years, she gathered her expertise, knowledge, and talent and put it to use for her recovery and to benefit others she loves. Professionally, Carole is an accomplished entrepreneur in business and creative arts.

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/167eebe3da2341358b1528a93fcb2ca1/edit_v2

Heal From Childhood Abuse, with Virginia Jones

Healing From Childhood Abuse with Virginia Jones

Childhood abuse deeply impacts our adult life on many levels but there is hope. My guest Virginia Jones and I talk about recovering from childhood abuse. Topics such as how to heal, the importance of boundaries, and what does it mean to honor your mother and father despite the cruelty they showed you. 

Our focus today is not about the details of abuse we endured, we use our types of abuse as a point of reference but our conversation today is how to heal from childhood abuse. 

Because of the imprint left on your life from childhood abuse there is often a distance between the effects of it experienced in adulthood and actually discovering full, healthy healing. Virginia and I dig into what it looks like to heal as well as what are some of the ways we can take action or the things we can put in place that is going to move us toward healing.

As an example, in the opening (audio) clip Virginia is talking about how to take control of our thought life and internal dialog when it comes to verbally beating ourself up or dwelling on the pain of what happened. She’s not saying ignore the pain but she is saying to take responsibility for your healing and part of that is dismantling the belief systems we’ve created that are associated with our abuse. Don't misunderstand what I just said. I'm not saying you're responsible for what happened to you, I'm saying take responsibility for your healing by taking the necessary steps to find help and wholeness. 

A lot of times when I’m doing the editing for an audio, it puts me in a position where I'm outside of the conversation. That outside looking in often gives me a deeper bit of clarity and that happened with something Virginia said. 

We were talking about boundaries and the importance of setting them with regard to what it looked like to honor our parents yet make wise decisions that would keep each of us safe as well as keep our families safe. 

One part of that conversation revolved around how other people, specifically our Christian brothers and sisters may define what it means to honor our parents. We may get criticized about our decisions or receive unsolicited advice. 

Virginia made the point that we set boundaries based on the full story of what has happened versus what others think we should do based on their personal definitions of the word honor. Anyone outside the actual abuse only has part of the story and what they think they know about our situation. 

That's when I was reminded that God has set intentional boundaries for all of creation. His boundaries are based on the fact that He knows the full story from beginning to end and because of what He knows He's set limitations to keep us safe. 

When you think about the boundaries in nature, such as ocean water, if the water passes the boundaries set by God it can destroy everything in its path. 

When we step outside of His standard for doing relationship the damage can be seen and felt for years.

When we live contrary to His instruction we're at risk of life altering consequences that can bring guilt and shame. His boundaries are in place to keep us from experiencing these painful consequences because of the resulting guilt and shame. Those two consequences, guilt and shame bring separation from Christ and that’s what God is trying to help us avoid. 

When I was raising my sons, I set boundaries in my home for two things, morality and safety. Whenever my sons chose to step outside those boundaries they tied my hands. Mainly because they were at risk but also because it grieved my heart to see them suffer the consequences. 

In short, boundaries have a purpose and it’s to protect us in situations where wisdom dictates that we need to be protected. 

Before I close, I do want to add this thought, guilt and shame can be laid at the feet of Jesus and we can find peace and forgiveness. The blood of Jesus washes the things of this life off of us. It's not about living a perfect life but if we stay in close relationship with Jesus, do this life with God's value system, His heart we can limit the emotional trauma and mental scars and all the work that will need to be done to heal.

The good news of Jesus Christ is that no matter what this life throws at you, no matter what people do to you, or try to label you with…you keep the eyes of your heart of Christ. He’s writing a much bigger love story with you, an over arching love story with you as the individual He created you to be. 

Its in the drawing close to Jesus that we find peace, break free from the lies, leave behind guilt and shame and walk in the freedom that Christ has made available to us in the here and now.

Let’s listen in!

God Speaks Beautiful Things in the Dark!

You can find Virginia here: https://www.thevintagecafepodcast.com/
https://www.facebook.com/vintagecafepodcast
https://www.instagram.com/audiofarmgirl/

BIO:
Coming from a background of abuse has given me the perspective of being grateful for each and every day. I am a veteran homeschool mom of two amazing daughters, wife to the most amazing husband, photographer, homesteader and podcaster. I love to walk along the beach, read a cozy mystery while having a cup of Earl Grey tea and make memories with my family. One of my goals in life is to be an inspiration to others. Whether that be through my podcasting, photography or homesteading. We can give a person a fish for a day or we can teach that person to fish for a lifetime. Every day is an opportunity to change someone's life. 

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/5e97285d61b34802aabfa6b673cbd3f8/edit_v2

Does God Care about People in Prison? Ex-Con, Steven Snook Says He Does

Does God Care about People in Prison? Ex-Con, Steven Snook Says He Does

Does God really care about people in prison? What does it look like for God to pursue the heart of rebellious, prideful, stiff necked, hard headed, broken people?

Since these adjectives could describe any of us at varying stages of our life, maybe that question has crossed your mind. If so, I’m glad you’re here because my guest today, Steven Snook answers it from the position of having been a prisoner. Not only a prisoner to the experiences and circumstances in his life but as a prisoner in a federal prison, here in the United States.

This is the longest episode I’ve done to date and I’d like to say it’s because Steven and I discuss his twenty-two year prison sentence, therefore it would naturally be a long conversation. But the truth is, it’s long because of the countless stories of how God interrupted Steven’s criminal career, drastically changed his life and then proceeds to use everything about Steven’s prison journey to cross paths with individuals that are on God’s heart.  

Steven shares example after example of how God showed up in some of the most unlikely places, one example being solitary confinement.

Steven talks about how God used him to shine the Light of the World (God’s Son) into the hearts of those who were willing to grab the lifeline that God offers to each of us. 

Steven also had encouragement for the praying momma, grandmother, sister, aunt who is wrapping their loved one in prayer, asking, begging God to intervene. Because Steven has seen, over and over the power of a praying woman when it comes to inmates making peace with God. Could it be that God searches out the ones that a prayer warrior is petitioning God for and standing in faith for answered prayers?

If you think about it, there’s justice/injustice, good/evil, truth/lie, love/hate, God/Satan. My point being, there are only 2 realities that we should be concerned with, heaven and hell. This life as we know it, is a foreshadowing of what is to come when we transition into eternity. 

While here, we get glimpses of what heaven is like and we get glimpses of what hell is like. I personally think that institutionalized correction centers are a prime example of the foreshadowing, a small sample of what hell will be like.

But take heart, because on this side of eternity God enters into those places through willing men and women who will bend their will to God’s plans to reach every person possible.

At the time of this recording, January of 2023, Steven has been out of jail coming up on a year. After fulfilling his sentence, he’s transitioned from reaching the prisoners behind the bars to people outside the jail that have erected their own personal prisons or man-made hell. 

Does God care about people in prison? You bet He does! It’s the reason He sent His Son, to save us, to enable us to live free in the here and now no matter your environment/circumstances/situation. 

As you listen to what Steven shares, may your heart be captivated by the beauty of who Christ is in this type of setting and the lengths that He will go to in order to create an intersection between His obedient son or daughter and a prodigal that He is passionately pursuing. 

God Speaks Beautiful Things in the Dark!

 

Connect with Steven Snook:
Website: JesusSpeaksLLC.com
Rapha Scripture Frame: https://jesusspeaksllc.com/products/rapha-frame-15
Email: JesusSpeaksLLC@gmail.com

Bio:
Steven Snook, Owner and Creator of Jesus Speaks LLC (Life, Liberty & Christianity) uses every opportunity he can to share the story of how God interrupted his life of extreme poverty and crime that had started at the age of 15. 

After many years of hardened criminal activity God reaches Steven in one personally devastating moment. Even though Steven knew very little about the God of the Holy Bible, he begins to experience this God in supernatural ways. As Steven begins to yield to the miraculous, God works both in him and through him.

God uses everything about Steven's prison sentence, including each passing year, the different prisons he's sent to, even keeping Steven in solitary confinement for a year, using Steven to reach the darkest, most isolated place in prison.

Steven’s personal transformation, including what he has currently brought to the marketplace (Rapha Scripture Frame), is a testimony of God’s power and authority to take what Satan meant to destroy him with and turn it for his good and God’s glory.  

His training ground, that of the various federal prisons across the United States, puts Steven in a unique position to speak to those who are not going to be reached for Christ in traditional ways. Now, outside prison, his passion to share the gospel and good news of Jesus Christ has not slowed down. You’ll find him talking to complete strangers about the approachable, miracle working God of the Holy Bible. 

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/0460402bc8cd4b09a02a670a7443d5e5/edit_v2

Genetic Testing and Prophylactic Mastectomy, with Erin Simeone

Genetic Testing and Prophylactic Mastectomy with Erin Simeone

Erin Simeone and I talk about her personal journey with genetic testing, genetic mutations, a breast cancer scare and her double prophylactic mastectomy.

Based on her mother's cancer diagnosis Erin started preventive check-ups. At one of these appointments Erin is given the option to check for the BRCA gene.  Now mind you, Erin is in her early 30's, raising a baby boy and planning on having more children with her husband so having to face the decision whether or not to pursue genetic testing was very daunting.

Simple as it may sound, making the decision whether or not to get tested actually has a very weighty consideration attached to it. What if it comes back positive for a genetic mutation? She'd then be forced to make a decision on which path to choose and no matter what she chose, it would impact every aspect of her life. 

She did decide to do the testing and when the results came back 6 or 8 weeks later, she did discover that she indeed had a genetic mutation. Now she faced even harder decisions. Erin shares an example that her doctor gave her that let her know she faced a 75% chance of having breast cancer. What would this mean for her young family and any future plans for adding more children?

Fresh in Erin's mind is thought of her friend, a young mom herself who passed from breast cancer after a courageous fight. Erin also recalled the painful yet successful battle her mother went through as she faced her breast cancer diagnosis when Erin was only 15.

Erin shares her thoughts as she wrestles with the decision process and eventually deciding to get the double mastectomy. Additionally, she tells us the 2 things that she couldn't live without while going through the recovery period. 

As surgeries do, her mastectomy left her feeling very vulnerable and helpless so Erin also shares not only who you want in your corner but how you can come alongside someone to help them through such a vulnerable phase. 

I love what she termed her, two am friends. She was saying that you need to find people who you can call at 2am and they're there for you.

I immediately thought of my sister and a couple of my friends that I would consider my 2am friends but then I got to thinking, at our age we all cut our phones off in hopes of getting a solid night of sleep and not have to get up to go to the bathroom! But the good news is, Jesus is always accessible and that is the one thing that stands out the most in this conversation with Erin.

She gave example after example of the importance, the difference and the impact that her personal relationship with God made in the midst of uncertainty and hard questions.

Her desire to use her pain to make a difference for just one person was the motivation that kept her going. Each time she wanted to focus on the hard parts of this season she would turn her focus to God. Looking, listening and seeking His presence, allowed her to see Him through countless situations and experiences.

One of the bible verses that was very powerful for her was when God lead Moses to the Red Sea. She talks about how encouraged she became when she noticed something about that scripture that she had missed many times before. A small detail and yet oh so powerful! 

I do want to pause for a moment and purposefully speak to those who have lost a loved one to cancer and Erin does touch on it. If you've lost a loved one, we're not saying God didn't love them or protect them or that He forgot them. God holds the fullness of life in the palm of His hand it's not over until, in His Sovereignty, He brings it to a close. 

Every single one of us will leave this life on a vehicle one of which is cancer. Death comes for every living being. Actually, death is a transition phase. We will pass from here into eternity and more to Erin's point, do you know which eternity you'll transition to? There are only two choices, heaven and hell and it's on this side of eternity that we get to step out in faith and choose to love Jesus in return. What is love if not a choice, right?

With Erin's salvation in tact and her healing journey in place, the question she gets most often is, would she choose the mastectomy all over again if she had to? Listen in to find out!

Live Loved and Thrive! 

Bio:
Erin lives in Chesapeake, Virginia, with her husband of close to eleven years, a son, Cullen who is six and a daughter, Camryn who is one. She is a local to the area, having been born and raised in Virginia, and is truly blessed to have most of her immediate family still living locally. 

She teaches in the local community and finds joy in building relationships with her students as well as working with them to achieve their hopes, dreams and goals, making learning fun and engaging. Erin attends River Oak Church where she has met life long, 2am friends that have become family, and is an active member of the church body, as well as her in home life group. She enjoys working in the children’s ministry, helping with VBS, helping new members find a place to serve wherever and whenever she meets new people, or helping in any way the Lord moves. 

While cancer has been such a tremendous part of her family, in both positive and negative ways, Erin counts it all joy to have been given the opportunity to get ahead of a cancer diagnosis, and hopes to continue to be used as a vessel for the Lord in her family, her church, her school and her community. She strives to find Jesus in every day, and leans wholly on His direction and guidance as she maneuvers through marriage, motherhood, family, church, friendships, and school. 

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/d059b7a3cf9d4a1bbb9955d6ee858096/edit_v2